Enlightened

Book 0: Untwisted Series

by Alice Raine

Genres: Contemporary Romance

Synopsis

Nicholas and Rebecca are together and stronger than ever as they prepare for their upcoming wedding, but a series of misunderstandings threatens to ruin their big day – and possibly the foundation of their entire relationship.

Meanwhile, Nathan and Stella have ripped up their contract, but their new-found relationship becomes troubled and rocky as Stella hides a secret that could tear them apart forever. Can Nicholas and Nathan ever truly escape their dark past and find the happiness they always thought would be out of reach?

©2016 Alice Raine (P)2016 Dreamscape Media, LLC

Release date: May 13, 2015

Publisher: Headline

Print pages: 352

Sample

One – Nathan

Two weeks later



Sitting back on one of my comfy dining room chairs I smiled to myself at how completely bizarre my life now was. Bizarre in that it was so fucking startlingly normal, and believe me, ‘normal’ was not a word I would ever have used to describe myself before I met Stella Marsden. Pig-headed, arrogant, sexually driven, and narcissistic perhaps, but normal? No way, and yet here I was sat having a nice ‘normal’ family gathering with Stella, my brother Nicholas, and his fiancée Rebecca. To top it all off, I was actually enjoying myself.

Who would have thought that a little blonde-haired beauty could walk in and wreak such havoc in my ordered life? I'd never felt this way about any woman I’d been with before, and believe me when I say I’d been with plenty in my time. For whatever inexplicable reasons, Stella was different. I wanted to protect her, spend time with her, and keep her by my side one minute, then pounce on her and fuck her senseless the next. For someone who had kept themselves as emotionally distant in life as I had – and wasn't that just the fucking understatement of the year – I now felt like a whirlwind of emotions was blowing through my life on a daily basis.

Christ, and the sex was just incredible. Shaking my head I blinked several times as a secret smile slipped to my lips; any time, any place, anywhere, Stella was up for it, and just as insatiably as me – if not more so – which with my raging libido was a goddamn heaven-sent miracle. With her stubborn streak there was no doubt that she kept me on my toes too, that was for sure. And as for me being in control? I might still act like the dominant male I once was, but with all the compromises we’d made recently my feelings and emotions were so churned up that I barely knew which way was up any more. All I knew for sure was that I was happy. Genuinely happy, possibly for the first time in my fucked-up life, and all because of this one woman. Apparently wonders would never cease.

Compromise. It had never been a word that featured much in my vocabulary, I didn’t make concessions, I simply stated what I wanted and damn well got it. Well, at least that had been the case until Stella landed in my life over a year and a half ago and wreaked her own delicious version of chaos. My lips quirked as I remembered that night in the hot, sweaty, sex-saturated confines of Club Twist, the night I had met Stella Marsden for the first time. She had instantly blown me away with her natural beauty, shy, tentative replies, and endearing blushes. I’d immediately sensed that something about her was different from other women I’d been with, but unbeknownst to me that first meeting had signalled the start of a whole new chapter in my life; a life now full of compromises, but oddly satisfying ones.

I ran the word around my mind again with a smirk: compromise. The compromises I’d made were fairly simple – our lives when we were together were shared as equals; we would shop, cook, socialise, and relax together, but she would still assume her ready position at any given time if I gave her the signal. Stella didn’t call me ‘Sir’ on a daily basis, but she still occasionally used the title when we were having sex. Regardless of titles, I still controlled all of our bedroom time. The collar I had given her, which showed she was mine, was a necklace instead of a formal collar, but as per my wishes it never left her neck. In simple terms – my needs were met and so were hers. Perhaps they should put that in dictionary under the word ‘compromise’. 

I suppose domination and submission meant different things to different people, and the happy balance we’d come to amazingly suited both of us down to the ground. After years of living my life as a strict ‘no-emotions-involved’ Dominant I had been terrified that I was going to fuck things up with Stella and push her too far, but she’d turned out to be a natural. Just as there was a part of me that needed to dominate and control, Stella obviously had a submissive tendency which moulded with mine to perfection. Much to my own surprise, here I was after a year and a half with the same woman and I’d never felt more content, satisfied, or happy in my life.

If you had told me a few years ago that having sex with only one person and no one else could be satisfying, I’d have laughed in your face and probably called you several insulting names, but it really was true, I hadn’t been even slightly tempted to stray. To be honest, I’d almost go as far as to say that sex with Stella seemed to be getting better as time passed and we learnt each other’s nuances in depth.

All in all my life was pretty fucking awesome at the moment. Stella really was amazing to put up with me and my shitty baggage, and I made a mental note to tell her later, when my brother had gone. Smiling, I let my gaze drift across to the sofas, where Stella and Rebecca were pouring over bridal magazines and deep in discussion about the size of the bouquet Rebecca should have at the wedding.

‘A year ago you would have ribbed me no end for having that look on my face.’ Nicholas’ voice broke me from my thoughts and I turned to look across the table at my brother. Schooling my features into a bland expression I mentally kicked myself for getting caught fawning over Stella, then frowned and pretended not to know what he was talking about. ‘What look?’ I asked cautiously, ninety-nine per cent sure that I'd been caught red handed in my wistful gazing at Stella.

Nicholas dipped his head to suppress his smirk, causing a chunk of his dark hair to fall over his forehead and almost cover his eyes, ‘The lovesick puppy dog look,’ he said with a grin, confirming my suspicion. ‘Admit it, bro, you've got it as bad a as I have.’

Initially frowning at his use of the ‘L’ word – one I was pointedly avoiding thinking about – I then sighed and rubbed at my chin while glancing across at Stella one last time. As if she knew I was looking at her, Stella’s gaze suddenly shifted and locked with mine as she flashed me a soft smile. My chest did that strange compression thing that it often did when she looked at me. It was an almost suffocatingly warm sensation that flooded my lungs, but was somehow pleasant too, and certainly a feeling I had never experienced before Stella.

As she gave me a tiny wink and returned to her conversation with Rebecca I shook my head slightly and looked back at my brother’s expectant face. ‘Perhaps,’ I conceded gruffly. I might be making some small inroads on my ability to express my emotions to Stella, but discussing this with Nicholas was a whole different issue.

‘Avoid it all you like, Nathan, but it's clear in your face. I think you'll be following me up the aisle before you know it,’ Nicholas joked softly, but his words brought me up short. The pleasant warmth in my chest instantly evaporated as my blood suddenly felt like chilled ice in my veins, and my heart accelerated almost painfully. Flicking my gaze from my brother back to Stella my jaw clenched until my teeth squeaked. No. He had that wrong. There was no way I was marrying Stella, or anyone for that matter.

Chewing on the inside of my lip I acknowledged the background rumble of my thoughts. The reason I would never marry Stella was simple – I could never be fully sure that I wasn't going to end up a bully like my father. I'd worshipped him as a kid, believed his beatings were for my benefit, and with every grain of my being I'd wanted to be just like him. It might be over a year since I’d last seen him – thankfully there’d been no sign of him since that awful day where he’d turned up at Nicholas’s house – but seeing him so bitter and twisted was when I'd finally realised what a complete fuck-up he was. Since that day I'd been terrified that my boyhood wish would come true – that I would eventually become just like him. There was no way I'd risk trapping Stella with someone like that. Never. It was definitely better that I stay unmarried and besides, why did you need a piece of paper to be happy with someone? Stella and I were doing just fine without one.

Shifting uncomfortably in my seat I pointedly avoided my brother’s gaze. I’d never told Nicholas about my lack of faith in myself or my objection to marriage, but both were hugely sensitive topics for me. If he wanted to marry Rebecca that was fine for him, but not for me. Completely unaware of my inner turmoil, Nicholas glanced over his shoulder at where the girls were cooing over some floral samples, then looked back at me.

‘Stella looks hooked. I reckon she'll secretly be making a list of her own choices.’

Breathing suddenly became quite difficult, and I felt a sudden, powerful urge to be sick. Fuck, how could I have been so stupid? I hadn't even considered it … what if Stella wanted to get married? Christ, I was almost hyperventilating. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. Would she leave me if I told her I never wanted to take it to that level? Panic made me increasingly fidgety in my seat and I found myself gripping the edge of the table with sweaty palms as I struggled to regain my usual composure. Trying one of my tested calm down routines I counted down from five to zero in my head. Once I was finished I swallowed, firmly pushed the thoughts of marriage from my mind to consider at a later date, and poured another glass of wine for myself and my brother. I'd found in the past that situations like this could be easily dealt with by using a firm dose of avoidance mixed with a good shot of alcohol, so there was no reason it shouldn’t work just as well tonight.

At least an hour and nearly two bottles of very decent wine later, Nicholas and I were now sat on the balcony while the girls continued to look through bridal magazines inside. It was a beautiful September evening, so we had decided to make the most the seasonable weather and soak up the last warming rays of the day’s sunshine. This was my favourite place in my apartment. London looked stunning and from up here, the view over Docklands and the glittering water of the Thames really couldn't get any better. An added bonus was that it was high enough to be quiet, because we were nicely separated from the chaos and noise of the city below.

‘So I have a theory about you and Stella.’ We’d been sat in companionable silence for quite a while so Nicholas’ slurred statement took a few seconds to sink in. Perhaps my little brother had had enough wine for one day, and was about to make uncharacteristic speculations about my relationship with Stella.

Intrigued enough to indulge him I raised an eyebrow and sunk lower in my seat so I could stretch my long legs onto the footrest in front of me. ‘Really? Do tell,’ I asked in a sarcastic tone that my drunken sibling totally missed.

‘Well, it started when I was trying to work out why Rebecca was sticking with me and not leaving, but I think the same theory could be true for you and Stella.’ Taking a sip of wine he sat up straighter on the lounger. ‘You still like to be dominant, don't you?’

Christ, was that really his start? It didn’t exactly take a genius to work that out, so I rolled my eyes and sighed. ‘Well done for noticing, Nicholas.’ I replied dryly.

‘Hear me out, brother,’ he said, turning on his seat so he could stare at me with slightly unfocused eyes. ‘What I meant was just like me, you like to dominate, but you've never kept a relationship going until you met Stella.’ Once again he was stating the obvious facts, but deciding it was easier to stay quiet I simply looked at him so he could continue. ‘So it got me thinking, why Rebecca? Why is she the one for me? And why Stella for you? And I've worked it out!’ he stated proudly with a flap of his arms that resulted in him sloshing wine over the balcony. Suppressing my smirk at my brother’s complete loss of his usual composure I gestured with a waft of my hand for him to continue.

‘The women we've been with before were all experienced submissives, they wanted to submit to us and we wanted to dominate them, but really, where's the challenge in that? If they want to submit, it wasn’t us that was making them, was it? But with Rebecca and Stella, they're independent career women, they’re strong-willed, they know their own minds, and by the looks of it they are both just as stubborn as each other,’ he said with a dry laugh. ‘I think we've become so attached to them because of their independence, the challenge of dominating them excites us.’ Blinking at my brother I couldn’t help but nod my head. Just the thought of Stella willingly submitting to me had my cock twitching and a flush rising to my cheeks.

Nicholas gave a jerky shrug. ‘It's certainly the case for me anyway, not that we do as much of that any more. We’re pretty vanilla nowadays, but Rebecca keeps me in line and interested better than anyone else has ever managed. I'd place money on the fact that it's the same for you and Stella.’

Topping up his wine, which clearly wasn't necessary as he'd had way too much already, Nicholas seemed intent on continuing his speculation. ‘And the best bit is, I think it’s the same for them; they’re so used to being in charge during their everyday lives that being with us and giving up control for a while excites them. I think letting you overpower her is probably a huge turn-on for Stella.’ Cutting him off with a sharp look I swiftly sat up and frowned at my brother’s boundary pushing conversation.

‘Enough talk about what turns Stella on,’ I growled. ‘That's not something you need to worry about, I have it in hand.’ But as I dismissed his conversation I realised that even in his drunken state, my little brother had probably managed to hit the nail exactly on the head.

Rebecca

Stella’s enthusiasm for my pile of bridal magazines made me grin. Since I’d started buying them a few months ago they’d been driving Nicholas mad, but Stella was just as keen to trawl through them as me, which was turning out to be fantastic fun.

‘More fizz?’ I asked, indicating to her almost empty glass as I topped mine up with the Cava we were drinking.

Lifting her glass in my direction she beamed at me. ‘Yes please!’ Her cheeks were a little pink, and I decided to ask my important question now before I got tipsy and forgot. ‘Actually I have something we might be able to toast to,’ I said speculatively. Putting the empty bottle down I turned to Stella with an expectant smile. ‘I was really hoping you’d agree to be one of my bridesmaids?’

Stella’s eyes flew wide open as she spluttered on her champagne and nodded furiously. ‘Wow! Gosh, yes!’ Putting her glass down she grinned at me. ‘I’d be honoured, Rebecca! Thank you so much for asking me!’ I couldn’t help sharing Stella’s excitement – we might only have known each other for the last year, but we’d grown incredibly close in that time and I now considered her to be one of my closest and most trusted friends.

‘How funny, me a bridesmaid and Nathan a best man!’ she said with a giggle. Nicholas had asked his brother a week ago. Nathan had apparently been slightly hesitant, but after an impassioned speech from Nicholas, finally agreed. ‘At least we’ll be colour co-ordinated!’

As I chinked my glass with Stella’s and we grinned at each other, I had a sudden recollection about the night when I’d first met her, back in the earlier days of my relationship with Nicholas, which seemed like forever ago but was actually just over a year ago now. We’d probably been dating for about five months at that point, and his brother had invited us over for dinner. Having only met Nathan once before I’d been ridiculously nervous that night. All I’d had to go on was what Nicholas had told me – that his brother was an emotionally detached man who lived his life during the day purely for business and his nights as a sexual Dominant. Not exactly what I’d consider to be an ideal dinner companion. After Nicholas explained to me that Nathan had saved his life when he’d tried to commit suicide after his father’s beatings, his obvious affection for his brother seemed rather justified, and so I’d grudgingly decided to try and accept him too.

Right from the start of our relationship Nicholas had liked to take the lead in the bedroom, but even in the beginning we didn’t have a contract or safe words, so the idea that Nathan was a Dominant had freaked me out. After being introduced to Stella that night I’d quickly realised that she was Nathan’s submissive, and I’ll admit that I’d been pretty horrified by that fact. A smile slipped to my face now and I felt my cheeks flush as I remembered my rude behaviour that night. I’d been gunning for Nathan from the start of the evening, throwing foul looks his way and assuming that he was somehow forcing Stella into their relationship. My face crinkled into a rueful smile – I probably hadn’t been the most well-mannered dinner guest that night.

Looking across at Stella’s relaxed face as she looked through a brochure of wedding venues I smiled. Now that I knew Stella properly and we’d chatted about the set-up of her relationship with Nathan I understood more fully. I wasn’t sure I could ever live the way she did with Nathan, but it was completely consensual so I would never judge her for her choices. To my surprise, Stella had told me that the start of their agreement had been rather impersonal, a contractual agreement for a no-strings relationship where he would dominate her in the bedroom and she would happily submit to him. The thing that had shocked me the most was when Stella had told me that she had been the one to seek it out. I still struggled to get my head around that, but knowing how independent and headstrong she was I could sort of imagine her doing something so brave – or perhaps reckless should be the word.

From what I’d gathered in our chats over the last few months, Stella and Nathan’s relationship had changed significantly about a year ago after he’d asked my advice about ‘mainstreaming’. Stella said they now had a relatively normal relationship and that although Nathan was still in charge in the bedroom, rules and safe words rarely came into their time together anymore.

Glancing across at Nicholas and Nathan as they sat on the balcony highlighted by the late evening sun I smiled; as brothers went they were a pretty stunning pair. My eye narrowed slightly as I looked at Nathan, his sharp gaze focused on Nicholas, his head tipped to the side as he listened intently to what his brother was saying. Having gotten to know about their past I knew that both of them still carried deep scars from their abusive father. I still found myself a little cautious around Nathan – there was just something intrinsically intimidating about him, but it was clear to see how he relaxed when Stella was around, and the little flashes of a softer side that I saw in his eyes when he looked at her were incredibly endearing.

My gaze shifted across to my man and I felt my heart give a little kick. Rather uncharacteristically, Nicholas actually looked a little tipsy tonight. His cheeks were redder than usual, his hair flopping wildly over his brow, and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up clumsily. I couldn’t help but smile fondly at seeing him so relaxed. As dishevelled as he looked through the reflective window glimmer he was still so frigging attractive, and even sitting here, as far away as I was, I felt my body responding to his – a sensation I would never tire of. It was like we were linked on some carnal, chemical level.

Blinking the thoughts away, I shrugged slightly to refocus my mind and turned my attention back to my friend. Whatever the setup of the partnership between Nathan and Stella I was immensely glad to have her as a friend, and I was thrilled she’d just agreed to be my bridesmaid. Raising her champagne flute Stella caught my eye and beamed at me.

‘Here’s to some fun preparations and a fantastic wedding!’ A toast I wholeheartedly agreed with.

Two – Nathan

A marginal heaviness at my temples indicated that I'd probably had a little too much wine this evening, but as well as drinking too much my mind had been more active than I’d have liked – no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget Nicholas' words about Stella perhaps wanting to get married one day, and even now, almost an hour after my brother had left, I kept playing his words through my mind over and over again.

Frowning, I leant forward and rested my hands on my knees as I stared at the unlit fireplace deep in thought. One thing kept going round and round inside my head; what if Stella's continued reluctance to move in with me had something to do with the fact that she somehow knew about my aversion to marriage? I’d asked her to live with me multiple times now, but she’d flat out rejected me every time. What if deep down she knew she wanted to get married someday, and was just waiting for the right time to tell me that we would be incompatible in the long run?

Christ, my heart was suddenly thudding. The thought that she might up and leave me was almost enough to tempt me to consider the idea of tying the knot. No matter how much I was adverse to the idea of marriage, I really wasn't sure I could function without Stella in my life any more. Images of my father suddenly flashed in my head; dark and foreboding, and I scowled at the sickeningly unwelcome thoughts. What was that old saying? “Like father like son?” Biting down hard on my lip I shook my head vigorously. No. I wouldn't ever tie Stella to me if there was even a remote chance that I'd one day end up like my old man.

Letting out a heavy sigh I sat back on the sofa. Perhaps I should discuss the subject of marriage with her? The mere thought of that conversation made my eyes narrow and my stomach twist with apprehension. A huge sigh left my chest, leaving me depressingly deflated. Maybe I could convince her that living together would be enough … A scowl twisted my brow as an immediate problem sprang to mind – she wouldn't bloody well agree to live with me, would she? Which totally scuppered that plan. Running a hand through my hair in agitation I decided to avoid the hugely volatile subject of marriage and instead try one more time to find out why Stella was so reluctant to move in with me – perhaps the answers would shed light on some of my concerns.

With this in mind I had decided to go in search of Stella when the lights in the lounge suddenly went off, plunging me into complete darkness. What the fuck? Wondering if it was a power cut the sidelights suddenly popped to life, illuminating the room with a soft, mellow glow similar to candlelight. Blinking in the dim light I frowned and looked towards the light switches. The sight that met me caused every nerve ending in my body to erupt at once.

Holy fuck. Stella was standing by the entrance to the lounge, one hand on the switches and the other hand on her bare hip. She was wearing black lace, barely-there knickers, a black bodice I'd never seen before, and not much else except for a saucy smile on her lips. She looked utterly gorgeous and I instantly hardened at the sight. Well, well. My dull mood had rapidly evaporated, thoughts of talking departed my mind, and the remainder of the evening suddenly looked distinctly rosy.

Seeing as Stella made no move to come closer I grinned at her teasing little game, stood up, and began to prowl my way towards her. I knew Stella loved it when I stalked her like this and I watched in satisfaction as she licked her lower lip, excited desire clearly twinkling in her eyes. Pushing off the wall she gave me a seriously seductive ‘come hither’ look, turned away from me, and began sauntering her sexy arse in the direction of the bedroom. Christ. Her knickers were actually a thong, the thin material tucked up between her cheeks, leaving her beautiful bottom exposed to me. A growl escaped my throat as I sped up my steps and made a click of disapproval with my tongue that completely stopped Stella in her tracks – there was not a chance in hell I was letting her get as far as the bedroom. That seemed like fucking miles away, and after Stella's barely clothed arrival in the lounge I wanted her, right here, right now.

‘Not so fast, Stella,’ I barked, gripping her wrist and pulling her up against me. A gasp escaped her throat and her beautiful eyes widened at my sudden movements as a split second later I had her firmly pressed up against the wall and pinned by my body.

The heat from her skin felt like it was burning through my clothing. Fuck, I needed to get naked right this second to try and cool the flames licking at my skin. ‘You are a little temptress, aren’t you?’ I growled before I crashed my lips onto hers in a frantic kiss, stealing the breath from her lungs as I smothered her with both my body and mouth. Finally I gave us both some breathing room and leant back slightly, panting against her neck, ‘Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?’ I sounded as breathless as I felt as I ran a finger across the lace of her very sexy corset. Damn, she’d strapped herself in so tight her nipples were practically spilling over the top.

‘Rebecca asked me to be her bridesmaid today, I guess all the talk of romance got me horny …’ she panted. ‘I want you, Nathan … now,’ I found myself ridiculously pleased that she said ‘romance’, and not ‘all the talk of marriage’. Grunting my approval, I bent my head to kiss her again, but Stella pushed against my chest and met my eyes. ‘Bedroom …’ she whispered, trying to lead me in that direction, but once again my impatience got the better of me, and instead of taking her to the bedroom I stooped down, hauled her over my shoulder, and carried her to the nearby sofa, responding to her shocked cries by giving her bottom a firm spank which echoed in the silent space.

I was like a man possessed, and in record time I had her panties off and myself naked. Within seconds I was sweeping the TV remote and a magazine from the sofa as our bodies crashed down onto the cool leather in a jumble of arms and legs. Keen to give Stella a little payback for her teasing I leant to the side and swiftly pulled the belt from my discarded trousers, then with a grin I took hold of both of Stella’s hands in one of mine and used the belt to fasten them over her head. Tilting my head I eyed her response. ‘That OK, sweetheart?’ I murmured, a gesture I’d never have bothered with back in my old Dominant days.

Smiling shyly Stella shifted slightly below me, then nodded and bit her lip, ‘I’m good.’ She lifted her head as she tried to reach my lips so I wasted no time talking and swiftly kissed her on the lips hard, driving my tongue into her hot mouth and groaning as she immediately ran the velvety softness of her tongue against mine. Breaking my lips from hers I dipped my head, running a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses down her jaw and neck before using my teeth to pull her already hard nipples from the tempting prison of the corset. Stella let out a sharp gasp as I tugged harshly at her with my teeth, but by God I was so turned on there was no way I could be gentle now. Besides, when I briefly lifted my head and caught her gaze, desire was clear in Stella’s eyes and I couldn’t help but smile. My girl liked a little pain mixed with her pleasure. She really couldn’t be a better match for me.

With her hands bound Stella couldn’t reach out for me like I knew she wanted to, but instead she writhed beneath me until she had her thighs apart, snaking one of her legs around my hips and drawing me sharply down against her so our groins collided, forcing the tip of my erection to push against her, a sensation that nearly made me delirious.

As my hands roamed over her body, gradually making their way towards her groin, soft panting moans escaped from Stella’s lips, spiking my pleasure to almost feral levels. She was mine. I was making her feel this way. Running two fingers over the damp, quivering flesh at the apex of her thighs caused Stella to buck herself against my hand, coating my fingers with her arousal as I ground them against her nub. Oh God, she was so wet. Groaning, I kissed her again. She felt so damn good against me. Stella was so fucking sexy she almost drove me out of my mind. I could barely think straight now, let alone breathe, and as our joint pleasure escalated I couldn’t hold back a second longer.

Shifting myself marginally to the side I reached down to position the head of my pulsing cock at Stella’s quivering entrance. ‘Yes,’ she whispered, almost sounding victorious in her desperation. As I felt her shift impatiently below me I locked my eyes with hers and then thrust myself down hard and deep, causing us both to shudder as pleasure flooded our systems and my head fell to the crook of her neck.

‘Fuck! So good!’ I don’t know who said it, but one of us cried out as our bodies joined. Perhaps we both did. I had no idea any more. Raising my head I gazed down into Stella’s wide eyes and after we both regained our composure I began to thrust in long, steady strokes, causing Stella to clamp around me like a vice. Christ. She was so tight. Every time with Stella felt like a brand new experience, she was so fucking incredible.

Leaning her lips against my neck Stella pecked and licked below my ear as I continued to drive us both on with steady, regular thrusts. I was carefully holding myself in c