Desperate Decisions

by Marilyn Mayo Anderson

Genres: African American; African American Christian

Synopsis

Diana Thompson was raised in poverty by a devout Christian mother, but after her mother's death, Diana denounces God's existence. Now she's living the successful life she always dreamed about as a child, but she's still plagued with insecurities that drive her to doubt her husband's love for her. To make matters worse, she has to deal with the void in her heart from the guilt of an unforgettable act she committed and hid from her husband. Kendra Staten, Diana's best friend from childhood, struggled to climb out of the impoverished life she lived. Unlike Diana's religious upbringing, Kendra was raised by a mother with immoral standards. Against all odds, Kendra gave her life to Christ and strives to be a virtuous wife and First Lady at her husband's church. But Kendra's faith and integrity will soon be tested by a present tragedy, as well as a past mistake. Pricilla Battle and Aquila Savino, friends since they were both orphaned as children, are dealing with their own difficulties. Pricilla moves to Raleigh, North Carolina in search of her true identity, not knowing that the man she falls in loves with just might hold the key. Aquila flees from an abusive husband and moves in with Pricilla. She struggles to pursue a new life for herself; however, she will soon discover that the solace of the new home she cherishes will be short lived. These four women will have to make some very difficult decisions and search for help from God to get through trying times.

Release date: April 24, 2012

Publisher: Urban Christian

Print pages: 304

Sample

“This pain is unbearable! Hurry up and turn this thing on, please! Diana lay in the hospital bed in excruciating pain. The morphine drip the nurse had given her seemed to have no effect.

The nurse gave Diana a stern look. “It is on, Mrs. Thompson; you have to be patient.” After checking and recording her vital signs, the nurse exited the room.

Diana stared up at the ceiling and willed herself to calm down. The memory of the events of what had happened to her just weeks before a tractor trailer plowed into her, played before her like a movie.

“Make up your mind,” Diana raised her voice at the man. “Sir, you’re wasting my time. I’ll be glad when my time is up here. I’m sick of this,” she mumbled as she rolled her eyes upward. Diana was about to walk away, but she noticed her supervisor’s frowning face. She took a deep breath and turned back to face the homeless man. “Sir, I’m sorry I spoke to you that way. I’m having a bad day. Please forgive me.”

“No kidding?” the man snarled at her. “You should walk a mile in my shoes. Every day is a bad day for me.”

Diana lowered her eyes away from the man’s intense stare. She shifted her eyes to the next person in line. Her eyes widened a bit when a young lady moved forward and stood before her with three small children in tow.

“Hi, Miss, I don’t mean to be intrusive, but what are you doing here? Are these your children?”

“Are you for real?” the young lady asked Diana in the most sarcastic tone she could muster up. “What does it look like I’m doing here? I’m trying to feed my three children and me. Don’t be turning your nose up at my children either. What planet did you beam down from?”

“I—I’m sorry, Miss, I’m just surprised to see a young girl down here, that’s all. And with three small children too.” Diana’s supervisor, Kendra, walked up to her and clasped her hands together tightly. “Is it my break time, Kendra?” Diana asked her.

“No, I need to talk to you, Diana,” Kendra told her grimly. “Ms. Mable is here to take your place.” Diana stepped back and handed the plastic gloves to Mable. “Diana, just discard those. Ms. Mable can retrieve a new pair from the box under the table.”

Kendra glanced at Diana from head to toe. Diana was dressed in black slacks, a frilly white blouse and black four-inch stilettos, which made her five-feet-four-inch stature appear tall. Her oval shaped, banana colored face was masked with heavy pecan tan makeup, and her big, brown, doe eyes were heavily lined with black mascara. Her dark coarse hair was carried up in a French roll.

Kendra sighed. “Come into my office, Diana.” Diana sauntered into the office behind Kendra. Kendra motioned for her to sit in the burgundy high back Queen Anne chair.

Diana sat down and kicked off her heels. “Thank you for replacing me, Kendra. I don’t know how much more of these people I can take.”

Kendra gave Diana a solemn look. “Diana, you do understand why you are here, don’t you?”

Placing a perfectly manicured, pale hand on Kendra’s desk, Diana laughed fictitiously. “Yes, of course. Kendra, thank you for pulling strings with Judge Winthrop and convincing her to order me to perform community service instead of doing jail time,” she smirked.

“I’m glad I could be of assistance.” Kendra returned the smirk that Diana was wearing. “I couldn’t imagine you doing thirty days in jail.”

Diana crossed her legs as her eyes scanned the scarce pine furniture that was scattered around the small office. “The thought of it scared me silly. It’s good to have friends in high places. I really appreciate you taking my case.”

Kendra relaxed her back in the office chair. “When you walked in the door all chipper this morning, I thought maybe since someone had shown mercy to you, God had inspired you to do something to make someone else’s life brighter. Maybe even say something kind to someone.”

Diana waved her hand in the air dramatically. “That’s funny, Kendra. You know I don’t waste my time in dumps like these. Considering the circumstances, I’m doing the best I can. Frankly, I’m surprised to know you’re here and in charge of this place too. After we graduated high school and went to college, we swore we wouldn’t take a second thought to run down places like these.”

“Well, we both were young and dumb back then. Thank God I met a wonderful man in college, who led me to the Lord.”

Diana sat upright and scowled at Kendra. “Humph, who needs God when you have money, honey? I have money; my husband is a successful oncologist about to start his own practice, and we own a five thousand square foot home sitting on a hill in Camden Estates. And being able to vacation twice a year in places that I could only dream of when I was a child is awesome,” she said emphatically.

Kendra’s eyes pierced Diana’s. “That’s a blessing, Diana, but do you have Jesus?”

Diana’s face became distorted. “Is that why you called me away from my duties; to talk about religion? My time is precious. All I want to do is my time here and go back home so I can supervise my maid on how to clean my house.”

Kendra’s eyebrows furrowed. “Diana, what’s happened to you?” She sat up straight in her chair. “Having money shouldn’t make you a cruel snob. I know some wealthy people, and I’ve yet to have encountered one of them to behave as terribly as you.”

Diana snickered. “Don’t be so melodramatic, Kendra. We both know that I was destined for success when I was in high school. And you, being a successful criminal defense lawyer, are wasting your time with these people.”

Frown lines creased Kendra’s forehead. “Diana, I’m disappointed in you. It really hurts me to see how you’ve changed. Your heart has turned to stone,” she said sadly. Kendra thought for a moment. “Please come to church with us Sunday. Maybe attending one of our services will do you some good.”

“I don’t think so, Kendra.” Turning up her nose, Diana said, “I haven’t attended church since my mother’s funeral twenty-two years ago. I lost my faith in God when He let her die from sickle cell anemia. If anybody deserved to live and be happy, it was my mother. She was an angel.”

“Diana, I’m sorry about your mother’s death too,” Kendra told Diana in a soothing tone. “I loved Ms. Anna dearly because she took up a lot of time with me while my mother ran the streets with one man or another; but that was then and this is now. I learned to forgive my mother, and now she is a faithful member of our church.”

“Good for you and your mother.” Diana clicked her tongue. “As for the Lord and me, I haven’t found it in my heart to forgive Him or forget what my mother went through.”

Kendra suppressed the tears that welled up inside of her. “Well, I’ll pray for you, Diana.”

Diana’s countenance hardened. “Don’t waste your breath,” she said indignantly. “I’m doing just fine like I am.”

Kendra shook her head. “I’ll still keep you in my prayers, regardless of what you say.”

Diana laughed. “That’s comical, Kendra. It’s hard to believe you are ‘saved’ anyway. It’s funny how we’ve switched roles, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Kendra had a puzzled look on her face.

Diana smirked. “When we were in high school, before my mother passed, my sister and I were the ones who were saved and going to church every Sunday and trying to get you to come, but you were a heathen if ever I saw one.”

Kendra’s facial muscles relaxed as she slumped in her chair. “You’re right, Diana, but thank God for His grace and mercy. I probably would have ended up turning tricks or getting strung out on drugs if you hadn’t convinced me to go to college with you.”

Diana nodded her head in agreement. “Yes, I’m glad you agreed to go with me because after Momma died, I didn’t have a soul in the world to depend on anymore. My sister had left town with that so-called pastor of our church, and after God betrayed me and took my momma, there wasn’t a reason to believe in Him anymore.”

Kendra pulled her posture upright and took a deep breath. “I didn’t know any better then, but now I know that that statement couldn’t be further from the truth. Whenever we’re in the valley of despair, that’s when we need to put our trust in God so He can bring us through our trials.”

Diana waved Kendra off. “Like I said before, I don’t need a God who refused to heal my mother when I needed her the most.” Kendra stared at Diana mournfully. “Don’t feel sorry for me, Kendra. I can’t stand pity. Anyway, as you said, that was then and this is now, and believe me, now is a lot better than then.” She sighed loudly. “Is the sermon over for the day? I need to get back to my duties. The sooner I get this over with, the better. Six hours down, one hundred and fifty-four to go,” Diana exclaimed sarcastically.

Kendra tapped her fingers lightly on her desk. “You’ve done enough for today, Diana. My schedule is for you to come in on Wednesdays and Fridays, from eight to two.” Kendra scrutinized Diana’s face. “So check your attitude at the door before you come in.” Diana smirked, but Kendra kept a serious expression on her face. ‘These people’ as you call them, are homeless, not inhuman. Please make sure that you remember that when you come in Wednesday, so whatever my assistant, Ms. Mable, assigns you to do, do it.”

Diana looked at her nails and sighed. “Sure, Kendra, whatever you say.”

Kendra stood up. “By the way, Diana, you should wear more comfortable clothes next time. I’m sure you were in pain, standing in those stilettos for six hours.” Diana grimaced and rubbed her feet. Kendra laughed. “A simple T-shirt and a pair of jeans or a summer sweat suit and sneakers will be ideal.”

Diana stood and scanned Kendra’s conservative navy, pinstriped pantsuit. “I dressed this way because I was under the impression that I would be working in the church’s office for you. I didn’t know my home girl would have me doing hard labor, like I was a common criminal.”

Kendra raised her eyebrows at Diana. “Diana, but for the grace of God, you would have been. Driving while under the influence of alcohol is a serious offense.”

Diana nodded her head in agreement. “You might have a point.” Diana bent over in the chair and put her heels back on. She stood up and headed for the door. “I’ll see you Wednesday morning at eight, but don’t expect me to come in here with a big smile pasted on my face.”

A sharp pain shot through Diana’s back, jolting her back to her present state in the hospital. She just wanted the pain to go away. For a moment she thought maybe she should pray. She laughed inwardly and said to herself, “Yeah, right. I’m sure if I prayed, God would just look down at me and laugh.” Diana drifted off into a deep sleep without so much as parting her lips to say a prayer.

Twelve weeks prior.

Aquila and her three children, Daniel, Darius, and Abigail, sauntered back to her friend, Pricilla’s, tattered two-bedroom house. It was only four blocks from the church, but in the searing North Carolina August heat, it seemed more like four miles. Still, she was grateful to have a safe place to stay.

Lord, she prayed silently as she rounded the corner and walked the few yards to reach the dilapidated front porch, I thank you for making a way for me to escape the torturous life I was trying to survive in while back in Nashville, Tennessee.

“Auntie Cilla!” Daniel, Darius, and Abigail screamed excitedly as they ran ahead to meet their adopted aunt.

Pricilla stretched out her arms to greet them.

“Are you done with school, Auntie Cilla?” Abigail questioned.

“I’m finished with my classes for today, sweetie. I bought you guys some chocolate covered ice cream bars. Go look in the freezer and help yourselves to one.”

The children, ages six, five, and three, raced into the house.

Aquila sat on the porch, with its warped planks, beside her childhood friend. She wiped the sweat that ran down her face on her long-sleeved blouse. “Pricilla, you don’t have to buy things for them. You’ve already spent a lot of money on bus tickets for us. I know how tight money must be, with you going to nursing school full time and only working part time.”

Pricilla shrugged. “I don’t mind at all, Aquila. When you called me the last time talking about that husband of yours and how he had slapped you around again, I knew God wanted me to do something to get you and those kids out of that hell hole. Sending money for you guys to come to Raleigh was the sensible thing to do.”

“Yeah, but Pricilla, you barely have enough money to take care of yourself. Although I appreciate you for helping us, I feel really bad living off of you,” Aquila told her apologetically.

Pricilla used the napkin that she held to dab at the sweat on the back of her neck. “I imagine you thought I had a huge house to live in when I sent for you all, but unfortunately, it only has two bedrooms. I’m sorry that all I could offer you was the couch to sleep on. You’re probably disappointed, but this is the house I bought.”

Pricilla had moved to Raleigh from Nashville, Tennessee to go to school. She rented the house for a year, and then the owners asked her if she wanted to buy it. The couple was retired from the military and had made their home in Phoenix, Arizona. They didn’t plan on coming back to Raleigh to live, so they concluded that paying taxes on the dilapidated property wasn’t feasible. The owner told Pricilla that remodeling his mother’s house was too costly and collecting rents through a real estate agent had been unprofitable. They quoted a price well below the market value, so Pricilla knew that she couldn’t refuse the offer.

Aquila looked at Pricilla and shook her head slowly. “I’m not disappointed. I’m grateful to sleep peacefully on that sofa bed, girl. Although Brandon provided a beautiful four-bedroom three and a half-bath house for us to live in, it wasn’t worth the beatings I had to endure whenever he got in the mood to use my body as his punching bag. Believe me; peace is more valuable than material things.”

“I know that’s true. Pricilla looked back at her home. “This doesn’t look like much, but it’s mine. I figured that I could remodel it when I graduated and became a registered nurse.”

“That’s a great idea,” Aquila encouraged her. “You’ve accomplished a lot since you left Nashville.”

“I know you didn’t understand at the time, but I was tired of living in Nashville with nothing but sad memories. I needed a change, so in 2006, when I read in a magazine article that Raleigh was voted as the second best place to live in, I decided to move here to see if I could start a new life. I hopped on the first bus out of Dodge, moved to Raleigh, and found me a place to live because I had a plan.”

Aquila glanced at Pricilla and giggled. “You always did have a plan. Ever since we grew up in the orphanage together, you’ve had a plan.”

Pricilla and Aquila grew up in an orphanage in Nashville Tennessee. Pricilla had been adopted by an older couple who were in their late fifties. Her memories of them were vague, but she remembered feeling loved. Her adopted father was an innocent by-stander that was killed during a convenience store robbery. Five months later, her adopted mother died from a massive heart attack.

Pricilla was only six years old at the times of their death. Being that her adopted parents didn’t have any living relatives, Pricilla was placed in one foster home after another. At age eight, she was sent to the orphanage. She couldn’t fully comprehend why her life had been changed so drastically.

She had a hard time adjusting to the orphanage, with so many other little girls of all ages. Ms. Berry, the director of the orphanage, was very strict. She made sure that the girls were fed, had their individual beds, and proper places to keep their scant clothing.

But there were twenty or more girls per employee, so the girls didn’t get much individual attention. Pricilla learned quickly how to obey the rules, go to school every day as required, and do what she was expected to do.

Aquila had been sent to the orphanage after her parents died. She didn’t have any memory of them. All she could recall was being sent to different places to live. She learned later that she had been placed in four different foster homes. To her recollection, most of the families seemed nice.

She remembered the day a kind, soft spoken woman came to visit the woman she thought was her mother. The two women sat and talked with her and told her that she would be going to live in a special house. She remembered crying and reaching back for her ‘mother,but her mother only looked away as Aquila was driven away by the visiting woman.

Sometime during the car ride, Aquila had cried herself to sleep. The lady woke her up and walked her into the huge house with a lot of other girls. She was taken to a bed by Ms. Berry, the director, who told her with a somber face, “This is where you’ll sleep.” She instructed one of the older girls in the room to guide her until she was familiar with her surroundings. After Ms. Berry left the room, Aquila fixed her innocent eyes on the girl for support, but the girl gave Aquila a mean look, turned on her heels, and walked away. Aquila shyly looked around at the other unfriendly looking girls in the room and fell on the bed and cried pitifully.

One girl came over, sat on her bed, and tried to comfort her. She told her not to be afraid because she would take care of her. That girl was Pricilla. Since then, Pricilla Battle, age eight, had called Aquila Forest, age six, her little sister.

Pricilla propped her right foot up on the bottom cement step. “Yep,” she said confidently. “My first plan was to go to college. I’m fulfilling my dream of going to nursing school. I hope to start my career as a registered nurse shortly after graduation. It was my dream to own a house, and now, I own a house. It may look like a shack to some people, but it’s mine. So far, my plans are working. The only thing that’s missing is my biological mother,” Pricilla said sadly. “But I’m going to find her too, if it takes me the rest of my life.”

Aquila smiled. “Don’t worry, Pricilla,” she encouraged her. “I believe you’re going to find her too. That’s been important to you for a long time.”

Pricilla dropped her eyes toward the ground. “I hope so. When I find her, I hope that she will be proud of me too.”

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Aquila asked her defiantly. She then sighed softly and told her in a soothing tone, “I’m very proud of you.”

Pricilla raised her head back up. “Thanks, Aquila. I might have always had a plan, but you’ve always had something kind to say to anyone that you’ve encountered.”

Aquila’s countenance saddened. “I should have had a plan for my life. Unfortunately, my only plan was to meet a nice man and marry him; you know, my knight in shining armor.”

Pricilla stood up, stretched, and watched the heavy afternoon traffic whiz by only a few feet from her tiny fenced in front yard. “I understand what you’re saying, but that was some knight you chose.”

“Well, when all your life consists of is an orphanage, a girl couldn’t help but dream of someone to love her.” Aquila lowered her eyes toward the ground. “Only my knight was twelve years older than me and as mean as a snake.”

“I had a funny feeling about him when you introduced me to him in the park, but I dismissed those feelings after you dated him for months and he treated you so well. I was shocked when you told me that you were going to run away from the orphanage and move in with him.”

Aquila gazed toward the traffic. “That was one of the dumbest things that I’ve ever done.”

Pricilla sat back on the porch and clasped her hands together behind her head. “You didn’t know what the future held, Aquila. Like the saying goes, hindsight is better than twenty-twenty,” Pricilla told her with conviction.

Aquila nodded her head in agreement. Aquila had been gone a week before Ms. Berry, the director of the orphanage, had noticed that she was unaccounted for. She questioned all the girls and staff members, but they had no idea where she was. Aquila had disappeared without a trace. Pricilla had graduated high school a year earlier, moved out of the orphanage and into a nearby boarding house. She worked full-time at Wendy’s fast food restaurant. She had visited Aquila at least once a week at the orphanage, so Ms. Berry’s first contact person was Pricilla. Ms.. . .