'Cara Bastone is one of the most talented writers in the romance genre today. With her signature blend of heart, humor, and honesty, Cara's books remind you that the best stories begin and end with hope' Lyssa Kay Adams The audio bestseller, available for the first time in ebook! True love is on the line in Cara Bastone's charming, laugh-out-loud rom-com, perfect for fans of Netflix's Love is Blind, Jo Watson, Lauren Layne and Hannah Orenstein!
Paint your toes. Pick up the wrong coffee and bagel order. Drive from Brooklyn to Jersey in traffic so slow you want to tear your hair out. It's amazing all the useless things I can accomplish while on hold for three hours with customer service. Three hours when I should be getting the Date-in-a-Box website ready to launch at the big business expo in a few days. Except my shiny new website is glitching, and my inner rage-monster is ready to scorch some earth...when he finally picks up. Not the robot voice I expected but a real live human named Cal. He's surprisingly helpful and really knows his stuff, even if he's a little awkward...in an adorable way.
And suddenly I'm flirting with him? And I think he's flirting back.
And suddenly it's been hours, and we're still on the phone talking and ordering each other takeout while he troubleshoots my website.
And suddenly we're exchanging numbers and sending texts and DMs every day, leaving voice mails (who even does that anymore?!).
And suddenly I'm wondering if it's possible for two people to fall in love at first talk.
Because I'm falling...hard.
Readers are loving Call Me Maybe!
'An adorable and thoroughly enjoyable read...I didn't want it to end'
'This is a short, sweet romance that I really enjoyed. Both Cal and Vera were great characters and I loved how this book starts with their conversation which was so much fun to read!...I was rooting for them so much'
'I love the concept of this book ...I felt it captured it perfectly in ebook form. I've never read anything like it and for that I loved it!'
'A short fun read. I loved both of the main characters...Looking forward to reading more from this author'
Release date:
July 27, 2021
Publisher:
Headline
Print pages:
240
Reader says this book is...: entertaining story (1) escapist/easy read (1) heartwarming (1) realistic characters (1)
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“You’ve reached Curio Customer Service. My name is Cal. How can I help you today?”
“Hello? Hello? Is someone there? Is a human actually speaking to me?”
“Yes. Ma’am—”
“Oh, my God. Just a second. Don’t hang up! For the love of all that is holy, stay on the line!”
“I’m not going anywhere, ma’am.”
“I just have to pull over. Just let me get off the road. Jeez! Where’d you learn to drive, you lunatic!?!”
“Are you talking to me, ma’am?”
“No! Not unless you’re driving that red Taurus that almost sideswiped me.”
“I am definitely not doing that . . . How about we just don’t talk until you pull over somewhere safe?”
“But you’ll stay on the line, right? Don’t hang up!”
“I won’t hang up.”
“Good, because do you have any idea how long I’ve been listening to that horrible hold music? Three hours and forty-five minutes. I could have watched Titanic in the amount of time I’ve been on hold. No. That’s way too relaxing of an example. You know what I actually could have done in the amount of time I’ve been on hold? I could’ve brushed my teeth, gotten dressed, painted my toenails, waited for them to dry, gone down the block and ordered a bad bagel and the wrong coffee, gotten into my car and driven all the way from Brooklyn to the middle of Jersey in traffic so slow I nearly ripped my hair out. That’s how long I’ve been on hold!”
“Those were . . . extremely specific examples.”
“That’s because they weren’t examples. That’s literally everything I did while I was actually on hold.”
“I gathered that.”
“Okay. There. Here I am. I pulled off the road. Hopefully I don’t get axe murdered in this wasteland.”
“If you’re somewhere unsafe we can definitely—”
“No! No. Don’t you dare suggest we wait another minute. I’ve been on hold for a lifetime. I’m practically ninety years old now but I’m getting my laptop out and turning my hotspot on and we are fixing this website issue immediately.”
“All right . . . Do you want to start by telling me what the problem is?”
“Well, it’s just one huge problem! You know, I used Curio because someone recommended it to me. And because every other website-building service that I tried was awful. They all say that they’re user friendly and that no matter how little experience you have with that kind of thing, it’s easy to build your site. But they lie. They’re nothing but a hellscape. Literally my version of hell is forever building my website. Choosing between fonts and minutely different background colors for all eternity. H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.”
“I see.”
“Did you just laugh at me?”
“I laughed with you. You’re funny.”
“You know what’s not funny? My dumpster fire of a website. No, this is so much worse than a dumpster fire. It’s a garbage barge fire . . . Stop laughing, Cam.”
“Right. Sorry. Cal. My name is Cal. And I am here to help you. If you point me toward the issues your site is having, I promise we can fix them.”
“Well, for starters, it doesn’t work. The whole thing.”
“Okay. Can you give me your user ID? Once I get into your account, I should be able to help figure this out.”
“Oh. Sure. It’s, um, bigcojonesvera69.”
“Sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.”
“That would be because I mumbled it because it’s ridiculously embarrassing and when I came up with it I never thought anyone would ever know about it except for me.”
“I promise I won’t judge you.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll say it again, but no laughing at me.”
“Deal.”
“It’s bigcojonesvera69.”
“. . .”
“I can feel you laughing at me.”
“I’m not! I swear. You just, ah, caught me off guard. Would you mind spelling that out for me?”
“B-I-G-C-O-J-O-N-E-S—stop laughing—V-E-R-A-6-9.”
“Okay, just one second while I sync with your account.”
“I’m not usually this silly, I swear. It was just that starting a website for my business really made the whole thing feel real and I needed a confidence boost. So, what better way than to look at my username and remember that I’ve got big cojones?”
“Naturally. Makes sense to me. And I assume your name is Vera?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry, I should have asked for your name right away. I’m still getting used to the customer service thing.”
“Oh. Great.”
“No, no, I’m not new to website troubleshooting. I’ll totally get your site squared away. It’s just the customer service thing I’m still getting the hang of.”
“I’m your first? I’ll try to be gentle.”
“Much appreciated. But you’re not my first. I mean, you’re not the first customer I’ve serviced. Oh, God. That’s not what I—Now you’re the one laughing.”
“Of course I’m laughing. That was the best thing I’ve heard all day.”
“Okay, ma’am, I’m truly sorry for, ah, misspeaking. I’m synced to your site now and it won’t be a problem to assist you.”
“Oh, is your manager listening in or something? WHOEVER IS LISTENING, PLEASE DON’T FIRE CAL UNTIL HE HELPS ME FIX MY WEBSITE. I PROMISE I WASN’T OFFENDED BY HIS OFFER TO SERVICE ME.”
“I didn’t—never mind. Oh, man. I see what you mean about your website. This is . . . not functional. Maybe if I . . . No. But what if . . . No. I wonder . . .”
“. . .”
“. . .”
“Cal? You still there?”
“Oh, sorry. I was getting lost in problem-solving mode already. I haven’t seen an issue like this before.”
“Ugh.”
“Did you say you had your laptop out and had internet access?”
“Well, I’m using my hotspot so I’ve got extremely pricey internet access.”
“Right. Do me a favor and go to your homepage and hit refresh. I’m wondering if I just fixed the issue.”
“Okay . . . refresh and . . . yikes. Pretty sure you just made the issue way worse.”
“Oh, wow. I see what you mean. Okay, this is an interesting problem. Well, first things first, I need to figure out if this is an organizational issue with the way you set up the site or if this is a coding issue with Curio. So, if it’s all right with you, I think the best way to do that is for you to approve me as an administrator, then I can edit your site.”
“How?”
“Well, do you see where the little settings wheel is?”
“No.”
“How about the green menu bar at the top left?”
“Nope.”
“What do you see?”
“A bunch of letters and numbers in weird alien script all bunched up together.”
“Oy.”
“Yah.”
“Okay, hmmm. Are you comfortable with mirror sharing?”
“Does it involve you seeing me naked?”
“What? No!”
“I’m joking! I’m joking. Sorry, didn’t mean to give you a panic attack. Mirror sharing is where you see what I’m looking at on my computer screen, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then, yes, I’m fine with that.”
“Okay, I’m sending you an invitation right now and when you accept it, I’ll be able to see what you’re seeing and we can go from there.”
“Oh, hi! Got your invitation. You’re in.”
“Wow.”
“What is it?”
“Vera, I don’t mean to be rude, but your operating system is . . . prehistoric.”
“Come on.”
“No, seriously, this is pretty much the operating system they used in World War One to communicate with submarines. Don’t you ever update?”
“Of course not! Who likes to update? It’s the worst chore ever and they always prompt you to update during the best part of whatever show I’m watching.”
“So, you’ve literally never updated your computer?”
“I mean, I’ve thought about updating my computer. Every time my computer pings me requesting an update I feel really guilty about the fact that I never do it. Does that count?”
“For our purposes today? No, that doesn’t count.”
“Well, I guess you’re about to tell me to update my computer.”
“Honestly, it’s Curio’s fault that it’s so incompatible with an old OS, not yours. But if you’re in a rush to get your site fixed as soon as possible, it’ll be a lot easier to interface with Curio if you’re updated.”
“I guess if I have to. But I really don’t want to lose all my tabs.”
“All your—Good lord! You have . . . forty-three open browser tabs. I really am having a panic attack now. How can you function with forty-three open browser tabs?”
“It’s all articles I want to read and shopping carts I haven’t purchased. Websites I don’t want to forget about. That kind of thing.”
“If we have time at the end of this phone call I’ll teach you about bookmarks. It’s going to rock your world. In the meantime, don’t worry, your computer will give you an option to reopen all your tabs and word processing docs when your computer restarts. See? Right there. Click that button.”
“Okay. Wow. There goes my computer. Shutting down for the first time in years. Oh, it’s sending a chill down my back! I hate seeing it go to sleep! Goodnight, sweet prince.”
“It’ll come back on in just a minute. Better than new. Let me know when it does because restarting will have severed the mirror-sharing connection.”
“It’s back on already! But there’s a spinny loading bar and it says estimated time of update thirty-eight minutes?!”
“Oy.”
“Cal, you traitor. I really am gonna get axe murdered if I’m sitting around here for another thirty-eight minutes.”
“If you’re not in a safe place then you should really drive somewhere else, seriously, I won’t abandon you if you have to hang up.”
“No way. I’m not falling for that. It’s the oldest trick in the book. I’m sure you’re dying to get off the line with the cojones lady, but I’m not going to make that easy for you. MANAGER, IF YOU’RE LISTENING, I DON’T CONSENT TO GETTING HUNG UP ON.”
“I won’t hang up on you, cojones lady. We can just wait on the line until your computer comes back on.”
“Okay.”
“Vera? Will you be drumming your fingers the entire time?”
“Oh! Sorry! I’ll mute myself. Just give me a shout if you need me!”
“You got it.”
Vera
Dang. I tried really, really hard to stay angry. That’s what my brother always says my problem is. That I can’t stay angry. He says I lack the killer instinct. And if I really want to make my business thrive, I have to be able to make people fear disappointing me.
I can’t even stay mad with a customer service representative.
But you know what? Maybe that’s not my fault. Let’s blame it on this Cal guy. Because who could stay mad at someone who thinks learning about the bookmarks bar is going to rock my world?
He seems sweet. And a little . . . new. Whatever the opposite of an old soul is.
Which is probably why this trash-ass company hired him to do customer service in the first place. Because they knew that their customers were going to be calling en masse, complaining that their websites were completely glitching and subsequently ruining their lives. But if those customers encountered someone like Cal the baby bird on the other end of the line then they wouldn’t immediately demand a refund.
But never fear because Cal is here! He’s single-handedly fixing websites and saving Curio from being bombed with one-star reviews.
I try to picture Cal.
He’s probably sitting in a call center somewhere, with no windows and stale coffee in a styrofoam cup. No, never mind, our Cal would never use styrofoam and risk ruining this earth we all call home. Cal is definitely sipping herbal tea that his wife packed for him in a thermos. He probably has a framed photo of her on his desk. He’s probably wearing immaculately pressed trousers that she ironed for him last night. I’m sure his bowtie is at perfect angles with his collar. His glasses would never have a smudge.
Thirty-four minutes left on the update.
This is torturous.
With every ticking second I can feel Friday morning approaching. Only four more days until I either make or break my business and all the while my website is a pile of letters and numbers on a celery-green screen. Why did I choose celery green again? It had seemed chic when Curio was helping me design my site. But now it just seems childish.
Somewhere out there in the World Wide Web my website is a completely useless pile of celery.
Twenty-eight minutes left . . .
“Cal? What song is that you’re singing?”
“Oh. Jeez. That’s embarrassing. I thought I’d put the phone on mute, too. See? Told you I was still learning the ropes of this whole customer service thing.”
“But what song was it?”
“It’s a pop song. A Finnish pop song. It was pretty popular over there a few years ago.”
“Oh. That’s cool. And . . . maybe a little random?”
“It’s not random for Finnish people.”
“Are you a Finnish person?”
“Yeah. Well, half Finnish.”
“Top half or bottom half? Yeesh, sorry, bad joke.”
“Ha, yeah. Probably my top half?”
“Does that mean your bottom half is American?”
“Finnish in the streets, American in the . . . Oh, gosh. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m so sorry. That was, jeez, awful. I’m—”
“Cal! Stop apologizing. Don’t you know me well enough by now to know that I’d laugh at that? MANAGER, IF YOU’RE LISTENING, I THINK CAL IS FUNNY. HE’S THE ONLY THING BETWEEN THIS COMPANY AND A ONE-STAR REVIEW.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Twenty-four minutes left on the update. Did you ever live in Finland?”
“Yeah. I spent half my time there when I was growing up. A year in New York with my mom, a year in Finland with my dad. Back and forth.”
“You don’t have an accent. Well, you kind of have an east coast accent, but you definitely don’t have a Finnish accent. Not that I specifically know what that sounds like.”
“I never got much of an accent either way.”
“Can you tell where I’m from based on my accent?”
“Ah, no.”
“Good. I’ve done everything I can to erase the dulcet tones of Jersey.”
“I like a Jersey accent.”
“No one likes a Jersey accent, Cal.”
“No, really. I do. I think it makes people sound . . . unpretentious.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“Oh. Hold on, Vera. Let me concentrate on this error message real quick.”
“Okay.”
Cal
Unfortunately, she’s cute.
When I started this customer service gig I was already nervous about talking to strangers all day. I hadn’t even entertained the idea that one of those strangers might be a cute girl.
Cute girls are not my skill set.
I use the error message excuse as an opportunity to let my thoughts settle.
Customer service is harder than I thought it would be. It’s hard when the customers are angry. It’s hard when they seem to be calling me from the middle of a construction site, or a bowling alley, and I can’t hear a single word they’re saying. It’s hard when they treat me like I am an idiot because I’m a customer service rep and they assume that means I’m not qualified enough to get another job. And yeah, apparently it’s even hard when the customers are kind of flirting with me.
This Vera person is making my palms sweat.
I wouldn’t say that in general I’m, ah, good at talking to women. Actually, I’m not that good at talking to anyone. Which is why my best friend, Eliot, recommended I start in on this job. He thought it would be like a crash course in how to talk to all kinds of people.
So far I’ve been cursed out, cried at, implored, almost swindled, and thanked. But this is my first time being . . . charmed.
I wish I’d gotten dressed for work this morning. I take these calls from my living room, so I didn’t see the point in changing out of my track pants and T-shirt. But now, I’m suddenly very aware of my bare feet up on the coffee table. It’s not like Vera can somehow magically see them, but they look big and stupid and out of place on this phone call. I wis. . .
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