Whether it’s being told you have to purchase two seats on an airplane or getting dirty looks when you’re with a handsome man, being a big girl in a superficial world can come with more issues than any woman should have to deal with. Add to that some over-the-top family and marriage issues, and you have the perfect recipe for some Big Girls Drama.
When Vivian married Sheldon, she thought she would be spending life with her best friend, but now she is facing a dreadful problem: a sexless marriage. Whenever she tries to reach for him in the night, Sheldon attacks her. Is he no longer attracted to her? Is he having an affair? Vivian is sinking into depression, and she becomes determined to figure out what secret her husband is hiding.
Monica’s husband, Devin, has been very clear about why he’s not interested in her anymore. She tries to make things work with him, but when he calls out another woman’s name one night, it’s the final straw. Monica summons her inner strength and goes from dutiful wife to a sista out for revenge.
Kelly has also found out that her husband is having an affair—with a man. Now he wants to move the man in and introduce him to neighbors as Kelly’s cousin. She’s not going for it, and things soon go from bad to worse when she learns some even more devastating information about her husband.
Sonya is single, so she doesn’t have the marital woes that her friends do, but raising a teenage daughter alone comes with its own set of problems. When she discovers that her daughter is pregnant, she’s heartbroken, but when she finds out who the father might be, pandemonium ensues.
Release date:
August 30, 2016
Publisher:
Urban Books
Print pages:
288
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I was excited to finally have a little mid-day romp with my husband, Sheldon. Husband. I still found that weird to say. And it was harder remembering I was Vivian Garrison now instead of Vivian Johnson. Hell, I thought I was going to be the last one of the Johnson sisters to get married, even though I was the oldest. But God saw fit to send me the right man to spend the rest of my life with.
Moving from Virginia to North Carolina was a big deal for me, especially since I was moving away from my sisters. As much as I was happy about Sheldon’s fantastic job opportunity and living the life with the man I loved, I still missed my sisters a lot.
The last time I saw my sisters was three months ago when they came down for our housewarming party. Sheldon and I invited our family and had dinner catered in our new home. From our living room which was bright and contemporary with its coffered ceilings to our traditional kitchen which was inviting with its muted tones and a kitchen island large enough to easily seat five, we were happy for our family to be a part of this transition.
Sheldon tucked his button-down shirt back in his pants trying to gather himself to look like we hadn’t just finished fucking all over the desk in his new office. Everything that was on his desk was now scattered about. I hurried to pick up each item so we could get it back in order before someone came knocking on his door.
With a flirtatious glint he said, “You are going to get me fired.”
Organizing the papers I’d just picked up in a neat stack, I placed them on his desk saying, “I couldn’t wait until dinner tonight to see you. Plus, I wanted to surprise you with lunch.”
“Lunch wasn’t the only thing you surprised me with.”
“You didn’t like?” I teased.
“Oh, I liked it. I did more than just liked it. I loved it,” he said buttoning the sleeves of his white button-down shirt.
I stared at my husband feeling like I’d just cheated on him with another man. The reason why I say this is because the man I married was different than the man that stood before me now. Those once-full flowing dreads were now a thing of the past and had been replaced with a smooth fade with a tight edge-up. His jeans and Tims were now replaced with tailored suits and wingtip oxfords. His once-threatening demeanor had now been transformed into an approachable businessman. I found his new look sexy, but I still loved to see him in his jeans and fitted tees. Regardless of what this man wore, he still was fine as hell.
“We haven’t done anything crazy like that in a while,” Sheldon said, looking at me.
Who was he telling? I was starting to think my husband wasn’t feeling me anymore. I heard people say once you get married, things changed. I was hoping they were wrong, but unfortunately, they were right.
Sheldon walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He nestled his clean-shaven face in the crook of my neck as I leaned back enjoying his loving embrace.
“I love you so much, Viv.”
“I love you too, babe.”
“You did a brother well.”
“Round two is later. Do you think you can handle me?” I teased.
“Me? Handle it? I was born for this,” he joked.
I could feel his semi-hard dick grow to his maximum length as it poked into my back. I reached around and stroked it through his pants.
He moaned saying, “Don’t make me have to go for round two now.”
“You just got this job, babe. I can’t have you losing it over my ass.”
“But what a fabulous ass it is,” he said smacking me on my behind.
“Trust me. I will tame that dick later. I’m going to leave so you can get back to work.”
I patted his hand as he let go of me; then I turned and kissed him.
“We still on for later?” I asked.
“Yes, dinner tonight. I’ve already made the reservations. Seven, right?” he asked sliding on his suit jacket.
“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll meet you there.”
I wished we didn’t have to drive separate cars, but Sheldon was coming to the restaurant straight from work. He had another late night, and I hoped his work wouldn’t make him forget about our dinner date.
Walking around his desk, he asked, “So what are you going to do now?”
“I’m going shopping.”
Eyebrows raised, he said, “Oh, really?”
“Yes, I have to find something nice to wear for my man.”
“Your birthday suit would suffice,” he said giving me a mischievous grin.
“I don’t think the restaurant would allow me to enter wearing that suit.”
His phone rang, and Sheldon went from husband to corporate man in two point five seconds.
“Sheldon Garrison speaking.”
He looked at me as the person on the other end spoke. I gathered the basket I had filled with food I’d prepared for this lunch date. I made his favorite, gumbo. I wanted to bring some wine also but knew he couldn’t drink on the job. I looked around and everything seemed back in order. I wanted to spray some air freshener just in case the scent of our sex was in the air, but I figured that would be a dead giveaway for what we’d done.
“Okay. I’ll be right out.”
Sheldon hung up the phone saying, “I’m sorry, babe, but business calls.”
“It’s okay, honey.”
He walked around the desk to kiss me good-bye when something caught on his foot. He reached down to see it was my pink lace panties.
“I forgot I didn’t have them on.”
He smirked as he brought them to his nose and sniffed.
“You are so nasty.”
Chuckling, he stuffed the thin material in his pocket saying, “For later. Call it foreplay.”
Today, I worked half a day, and now I was in the doctor’s office waiting to get the results from the testing Dr. Hoffman suggested I get due to the abdominal pain I’d been experiencing for the past few weeks. I thought it was cramps at first, but when the pain persisted, I knew I had to find out what was going on with me. For a brief moment, I thought I could be pregnant and excitement filled me. I’ve always wanted children, lots of them. But being the negative Nancy I was, I immediately wondered if I could be miscarrying the baby, which was the reason why I was experiencing so much pain. As quickly as my enthusiasm settled in, so did grief.
To hear my doctor suggest getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases was devastating, especially since I was married. I knew I hadn’t stepped outside of my marriage, which could only mean my husband had. I thought my husband and I had gotten past his adulterous behavior, but if my doctor came back with positive results showing I had a sexually transmitted disease, all hell was going to break loose.
“God, please let me hear some good news,” I prayed, looking up to the ceiling.
My cell phone rang, which caused me to jump, and for a split second, I wondered if it was Jesus calling to answer my prayers. I giggled knowing I was losing touch with my reality. One thing was for sure, Jesus himself would not be calling me on my phone. I looked to see it was my big brother. I knew he was calling to see how my doctor’s appointment went since I’d told him what’s been going on with me.
“Hey, Vic,”
Vic, short for Victor, was four years older than me. Even with this age gap, we grew up like Siamese twins. We’ve been connected at the hip for as long as I could remember.
“Girl, why haven’t you called me to tell me what the doctor said? I’ve been waiting all day to hear from you,” he said worriedly.
“Boy, my appointment wasn’t until 12:30 p.m. I’m sitting here in the examining room waiting on my doctor to come in.”
I told my brother about the pain I’d been experiencing but neglected to mention my doctor tested me for sexually transmitted diseases. I knew if I told him that, this would be a different type of conversation. Especially when I knew my brother didn’t care too much for my husband. I guess that was my fault since every time I needed to vent about my husband, I picked up the phone and called Vic. I told him the good, the bad, and the ugly regarding my marriage.
“You could have informed a brother. I need to know what’s going on with you.”
“Stop it, Vic. You’re making me nervous, so chill. My anxiety level is already at a seven, and you making it go up to a ten.”
“Kell, I’m just worried about you,” he said, using the nickname he gave me when we were younger. “You are the only sister I have. If you ask me, I think you’re pregnant. I’m going to be an uncle. I’m so excited.”
I chuckled, saying, “We don’t know that yet.”
“I’m claiming it, honey.”
Changing the subject, I asked, “Have you spoken to Mom lately?”
“You kidding, right?” he said, tone flat and despondent.
“No.”
“Kell, it’s been four years since I heard that woman speak to me.”
“That woman is our mother.”
“Well, she has a funny way of showing it.”
“Call her, Vic.”
“For what? So she can preach the Word about how my soul is going to burn in hell forever for being a gay man?”
Growing up with a mother who kept us in church, Vic learned early on men and women were supposed to be together. This started him down a road of pretending to be a heterosexual man knowing our mother’s view about gay individuals. It wasn’t until Vic was eighteen years old when he realized there was no reason to continue to hide who he really was. It was that, and the fact he fell in the love with the man of his dreams.
“Give her time,” I urged.
“You don’t think four years has been enough time? Hell, I’ve finally got past some of the hurt feelings I have toward her.”
“That’s a step in the right direction.”
“But I can’t be the only one going in that direction, Kell. You know as well as I do one person can’t make a relationship work, and that goes for family too.”
“You’re right,” I agreed.
“My heart still yearns to have a relationship with Mom, but she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“She still loves you, Vic.”
“She has a weird way of showing it,” he countered.
“I’m going to continue to talk with her.”
“Why waste your breath? Mom is a lost cause, especially when it comes to two men being in love with each other. Of all people, you should know how stubborn she is.”
“You’re right about that.”
“I want to tell her so bad God made me who I am. If he created me, then how can I be a mistake?”
“You aren’t.”
“Try to convince her of that.”
“I have. There is no talking to Mom. I’m still trying to not hold a grudge with her for withholding our father from us for as long as she did.”
I loved my mother, don’t get me wrong. She did the best she could raising us as a single mother. The thing of it was, she didn’t have to raise us alone. It wasn’t until I turned fourteen and Vic was eighteen that we found out who our dad was.
Come to find out, our mother was intentionally keeping us from our father because he left her for another woman. She used us as pawns in her revenge, not caring that keeping us from him not only hurt him, but it hurt us as well. From that day on, we vowed to get close to our dad, which we did; that is, until he died a few years ago.
“Are you okay, Kell?” Vic asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Yes. Just thinking about Dad. I miss him so much.”
“I miss Pops too. It’s good to know where we got our light skin and this good hair from, because for years, I knew our dad was mixed with something.”
“And Mama wonders why I have trust issues,” I quipped.
“Speak it, Kell. That woman lying to us all those years was enough to screw us up. I feel cheated out of all the years I could have spent with him.”
“Me too. That’s why I’m trying so hard not to have ill feelings against her.”
“I should because maybe Dad could have helped me early on to understand the feelings I was having.”
“He loved us so much.”
“He loved us unconditionally. Even when I came out of the closet, Dad didn’t flinch. You would expect a father would have an issue with his son being gay, but here it is our mother. Dad loved me until the day he died. I know that’s why I keep pushing forward because he told me don’t let no one make me feel bad about the man I am.”
“He’s right, Vic.”
“I know that now, which is why I’m not in a hurry to talk to Mom. As much as she thinks I can get over being gay, she needs to understand gay is not a cold you can take medicine for and it goes away.”
My brother was a very intelligent person and didn’t have a problem speaking his mind. I guess years of holding back who he was changed his perception of how his life should be lived now, and I was happy for that. Vic stood in his truth, and there was nothing stronger than that.
“Chile, I have to get off this line before I lose my job. I’m talking like I’m at home. A couple of people looking at me crazy, and I don’t feel like cussing nobody out because they all in my business.”
“Then you better get off the phone,” I said, chuckling.
“You call me when you know the real, okay?”
“I will. Love you, Vic.”
“Love you too, Kell. And don’t forget to call me.”
I hung up with my brother, still beaming from speaking with him. I truly did love him. He always knew how to put a smile on my face.
When Dr. Hoffman entered the examining room, I tried to read her expression but couldn’t. I guess being in her profession for as long as she had, she’d mastered holding a poker face so no one would be able to tell what she was going to say, and this made me more nervous.
“Kellie, your weight is good, 129 pounds, which is great for your height of five foot five. Your BP is great, and vitals are good. Your temperature is normal as well.”
I felt like she was telling me all the things that were good before she was going to drop the bad news on me. Nothing could have prepared me for what she told me next.
“What did you just say to me?” I asked in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, but you have Chlamydia,” she repeated slowly, looking at me with compassion.
I couldn’t say anything. I shook my head with a pained expression on my face as she gazed at me sympathetically.
“You told me you didn’t have any other sexual partners, correct?”
“I don’t. Jeffrey has been the only man I’ve been sleeping with.”
“I hate to say it, Kellie, but this means you had to get this STD from your husband.”
I shook my head, knowing my husband wouldn’t dare cheat on me again.
Dr. Hoffman continued by saying, “You really need to have him come in and get treated for this condition as well.”
“He’s cheating on me,” I whispered to myself, trying to make sense of this entire situation.
“Kellie, there is something else.”
I looked at her like I didn’t want to hear anything else. This news was enough to annihilate me. Even though her face couldn’t be read, the way she spoke was enough for me to understand the next bit of information was not going to be any better. I dropped my head as I reached down and gripped both sides of the examination table as hard as I could. I think I was trying to hold on. Was I trying to hold on so I wouldn’t hit the floor? Was I holding on for hope for better news? Or was I gripping this table so tightly because I felt a rage build within me that I’d never experienced before. Whatever, none of this was good.
I looked at Dr. Hoffman waiting for her to drop the next misfortune on me. She took this as her cue to proceed.
“With you being diagnosed with Chlamydia, I suspect you could also have a condition known as PID.”
I frowned as I asked, “What is PID?”
The doctor smiled warmly before saying, “I’m sorry for using abbreviations. PID stands for pelvic inflammatory disease. It’s an infection of your female reproductive organs.”
“Is it serious?” I asked frantically.
“It can be. This condition could lead to irreversible damage to your uterus, fallopian tubes, and other parts of your female reproductive organs.”
“So this could be why I have been having this pain?”
“The pain could stem from this or the fact you have this STD,” she answered. “More likely than not, I think it’s the beginning stages of PID.”
“You said there could be damage to my female organs. Does this mean it could affect me having children?” I asked fearfully.
“Unfortunately, yes.”
And there was The Catastrophe. I sucked in a breath, shocked at her answer.
“In many cases, women who get this condition become infertile,” she responded honestly.
I began to weep. I couldn’t take this news. I’d rather hear my husband was cheating than the fact his deceitful actions could have affected my chances of ever having children.
My doctor rolled her chair closer to me and began rubbing my leg lovingly.
“I can’t believe this. I thought my marriage was great, but I guess I was wrong, especially if he’s cheating.”
“Please understand I’m not saying you have PID, but unfortunately, the signs are there. What I want to do now is do further testing.”
“I’ll do anything. I want to have children.”
“Okay. I’ll send you to the lab today to have blood drawn to see if there is evidence of an infection. Then I’ll set up another appointment for you to have an ultrasound done to have your reproductive organs examined. I’ll see if they can get you in as soon as possible. These things will let us know the severity of your condition. Once I have your results, I’ll give you a call to come in for your findings.”
I nodded, feeling numb to all of this. Jeffrey promised me he wouldn’t cheat on me again. So not only did I have the burden of knowing my husband was back to his old tricks again, I had to deal with the revelation I was infected with an STD that could possibly ruin my chances of ever having children.
“I’ve sent over a prescription to start treatment for the STD, but please understand, if you continue to sleep with your husband who’s not being treated, then you are taking the medication in vain.”
Oh, she didn’t have to worry about me ever sleeping with him again. This news was the wake-up call I needed. As much as I wished I’d never come to see my doctor, I knew it was in my best interest to do so, in more ways than one. Just like that, my entire world was ripped from under me again. I never should have trusted him. I should have left when he stepped out on our marriage the first time. Hell, the second and third time! But I loved him enough to give him chance after chance. Shame on me for making such a terrible decision, because now, my choices could have affected my chances of ever having children.
I found this cute upscale boutique I’d wanted to come to ever since I’d moved here and decided today was the day I should go and see what they had to offer. I wasn’t in the shop five minutes before one of the salespeople approached me.
“Can I help you?” she asked as I scanned through some clothes.
“No, thank you,” I answered smiling graciously at the middle-age woman. I thought my answer was enough to make her move on to the next patron, but she continued to linger by me.
I hoped this was not another moment in my life where racial profiling was taking place. I really didn’t want to be that stereotypical black woman, but if I had to, I would. All I was trying to do was look for something sexy to wear for my husband.
“Did you need something else?” I questioned with narrowed eyes, hoping she understood I didn’t appreciate she was still standing near me like I was going to steal something.
“Oh no.”
She said this, but she still didn’t bother to budge. Now I was getting irritated.
“Then why are you still hovering over me? I hope you don’t think I’m going to steal anything. I can’t help but notice I’m the only woman you are watching. Is it because I’m the only African American in this establishment?”
“No, ma’am, but . . .”
“But what?” I asked in irritation.
“We . . . we don’t carry many clothes in . . . in . . . your size,” she stuttered.
No, this bitch didn’t. I gawked at her wondering if she was serious right now. Whether there was one or one hundred pieces of plus-size clothes in the place, I had the right to look. Besides, I could have been looking for something for someone else.
I turned to face her full-on, . . .
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