Begonia Brown

by Julia Press Simmons

Genres: African American Urban

Synopsis

From the author of Strawberry Mansion comes the tale of Begonia Brown. Raised in the unforgiving streets of North Philadelphia, Begonia is undoubtedly a product of her environment: young, ruthless, and criminally minded.

Begonia's carefree world has been turned upside down. Forced to become the head of her household, she has to trade her paintbrush in for a switchblade and her love of art into a love affair with the hood. Lying, stealing, and turning tricks, Begonia will do any and everything she can to protect her sisters from the ugliness of the world. However, it just isn't enough... 

Begonia is caught between the hard knocks of the streets and the nightmare of her home life. Her younger sister Violet, desperate to escape the hell her life has become, is seduced by an up-and-coming corner boy. Meanwhile, their baby sister Daisy is riddled with a disease that could be fatal if not cared for.

Come along for Begonia's journey as she picks up the pieces of a life in shambles.

Release date: March 31, 2026

Publisher: Urban Books

Print pages: 304

Sample

2 years later …

Breaking and entering just doesn’t pay like it used to! Begonia cupped her left breast and fingered the small knot she’d stored there. She started to dig in her bra, take it out, and then paused. No matter how many times you count the money, dumb ass, it’s not going to add up to more than fifty bucks, which ain’t even gonna stretch to cover food for the week. She jammed her hands in her pockets and walked into the middle of the street to look for the bus.

Where the fuck is the bus? She sighed and decided to walk up a few more blocks. Cecil B. Moore Avenue looked like a ghost town. Begonia half expected to see tumbleweeds rolling across the empty lots. Now and then, she would look over her shoulder for a bus, but there was none in sight. She sped up her pace. The stars began to disappear, and the night sky was a tad bit lighter. Begonia checked her watch and resisted the urge to finger the money again.

Breaking into that house was a boneheaded move, Begonia, especially when you spent a month casing the house beside it. But instinct had clouded her better judgment when she spotted the owners of the neighboring house pull from their driveway, leaving a first-floor window open. She’d learned to always take the path of least resistance, and when you couple that with an open window that was partially concealed by a ragtag carport—easy money.

The fucking house was polluted with books. It had nothing in the way of small, portable electronics. The second floor was even worse. The lady of the house had a thing for cheap-ass costume jewelry. She sucked her teeth at the memory. The night would have been a complete bust if not for the fifty bucks she scored from the suit jacket strewn across a chair.

Begonia trudged up the bridge that led to her neighborhood. She checked her watch and sighed. There was still enough time for her to stretch out before school. The streetlights winked out as she turned onto her block. She looked up at the abandoned building she called home and hesitated only a moment before going inside.

Home sweet home.

She scrunched up her nose as she walked into the house. It stunk of cat piss. She and Violet had ripped up the carpet and scrubbed the floors for hours, but the smell of kitty pee was ever-present—saturated throughout the walls and the second-hand furniture.

Well, you get what you pay for.

Begonia kicked off her shoes and nudged them into the corner of the vestibule. Toys and clothes were scattered all over the floor, so she nixed the idea of lying down. She worked her shoulders before walking through the living room, picking up this and that.

She found her younger sister, Violet, huddled by the lamp on the dining room floor, surrounded by books. They had hooked the electricity up themselves but only managed to get juice on the first floor.

Begonia smiled down at her. The girl must have been born with a book on the end of her nose. Violet would be 16 years old in two weeks, and although Begonia was only a year older, she did her best to shield Violet from the evil in the world. She vowed to do something special for her birthday.

Somehow, Vy, someway!

Bending over to switch off the lamp, she shook Violet awake. “Vy, wake up and go on up to our room.”

Violet stretched and rubbed her eyes. “Bee, Daisy hasn’t eaten anything.”

“What do you mean she hasn’t eaten? I left you guys some beans and franks.”

“I know, but they were gone by the time we got home.”

Begonia didn’t hear anything else that was said. She shot up the stairs and rushed to the room she shared with her sisters. Daisy was in her crib, slick with sweat.

Her voice cracked out like lightning. “Violet, get me her damn glucagon shots.” She cradled Daisy in her arms, crooning softly, “Come on, baby. Wake up now.” Begonia smoothed back her hair and braced Daisy against her shoulder. Then she tore the top drawer of the dresser out, looking for Daisy’s glucometer. “Come on now, sweetie, wake up!”

Violet burst into the room, breathless. “This is it,” she said, handing Begonia the needle and what looked like an empty vial.

“What do you mean this is it? I just filled her prescription.” Begonia fought down the lump in her throat. Daisy moaned against her neck.

That’s it, girl. Wake up! You’re a fighter!

Violet began to cry. “I looked all over the kitchen, Bee. That’s all there is.”

“Forget it, Vy. Just find her machine, okay? I have to check her sugar before I give her this.”

Violet wiped her eyes and began taking things out of the drawer. Begonia snatched the curtain away from the window to give her some more light.

“It’s not in here, Bee.”

“What do you mean it’s not in there?” Begonia ripped the remaining drawers from the dresser. “Look for it!” she screamed.

She laid Daisy in her crib and filled the small needle up with glucagon. Two fucking units. She flicked the air bubbles out of the needle as best she could, careful to squirt out only a tiny bit.

This is it, baby girl. This is the last of it. Begonia unzipped her sleeper and pulled out one chubby thigh.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“But you didn’t test her sugar.”

Begonia rolled her shoulders and pinched the soft skin of Daisy’s inner thigh.

“Noooooooo!” Violet screamed. She jumped up from the floor and snatched Daisy out of the crib. “Remember what the doctor said. He said never to give it to her without knowing her level first.” Violet cradled Daisy on her shoulder. “You remember, don’t you?” she asked between sobs. “Don’t you?”

Fuck!

“All right, Vy.” Begonia laid the needle down in the crib. She held her hands out for the baby. “She needs something, though. Take her pacifier downstairs and put some peanut butter on it.”

“Okay,” Violet said. She handed Begonia the baby, took the pacifier out of the crib, and ran back downstairs.

Begonia’s back stiffened, and pain bloomed at the base of her neck. She placed Daisy in her crib just as red dots began to flash before her—a sure sign of her blood pressure rising. She squeezed her eyes against the pain and stuck her head out of the bedroom door because Violet was hollering something from downstairs.

“What?”

“I said we don’t have any peanut butter.”

“Then put some syrup on it, Vy. Some sugar or something.”

Sunlight shone through the shade-less window and lit the faded wallpaper of their bedroom. Begonia looked down at her little sister and swallowed hard. She scooped her out of the crib and hugged her tightly.

God, help me!

Begonia kissed Daisy on her forehead before silently reciting the only prayer she knew.

Our Father that art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

She rolled up Daisy’s t-shirt.

Give us this day our daily bread.

She picked up the needle from the crib and plunged it into Daisy’s stomach.

And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

Daisy’s screams rocked the tiny room.

“That’s my girl. That’s what I want to hear.”

Violet rushed up the stairs armed with a pacifier dripping with syrup. “Oh my God, Bee. What’s wrong with her? What did you do?”

Begonia took the pacifier from Violet and gave it to Daisy, whose big brown eyes were open now and glossed over with tears. Daisy clamped down on the pacifier like a vise, and Begonia smiled. She walked over to Violet and wiped her tears.

“It’s okay, Vy. Just look at her now. I had to do it.” She handed Daisy to Violet, dug money out of her bra, and handed Violet twenty bucks.

“I want you to get you something to eat before you go to school. Take Daisy over to Ms. Lenora’s house and tell her that I will be there in a little while to take Daisy to the doctor.”

Violet’s eyes narrowed at her sister. “You’re not coming to school?”

“No, Vy. I have to tend to Daisy. She needs more stuff.”

Violet nuzzled her chin against Daisy’s cheek and was relieved when Daisy tried to grab one of her earrings.

“I want ea-wings, Vywet,” Daisy said softly. She slid the pacifier to the side of her mouth so that she could talk around it.

Begonia leaned over and kissed Daisy’s cheek. “I’ll get you some earrings just like Violet’s, okay? I’ll get you anything you want, ’cause you’re my baby girl.”

Daisy touched Begonia’s face and gave her a big, gap-tooth smile. She took her pacifier out for Begonia to kiss her, and Begonia smacked a sloppy kiss on her, which made her squeal with laughter.

“Look, Violet, go on to school without me, ’cause I have to take care of a few things. I promise I won’t miss any more days, okay?”

“All right.”

“Atta girl.” Begonia smiled at her sisters and wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. The smile fell off her face abruptly. “Where’s your mother?”

Violet nodded her head toward the hall. “She’s in her room with Uncle Dave.”

Begonia cracked her neck and headed toward the back room. “Violet, we don’t have an uncle Dave.”

Violet poked her head into the hallway. “What are you going to do, Bee?”

Begonia paused at her mother’s door and looked over her shoulder. “Don’t worry about what I’m going to do. Do what I told you to do.”

Violet headed downstairs to do what she was told. I feel just like one of those Ethiopian kids with the flies buzzing all around them, she thought. Her stomach growled as she dressed Daisy and continued to growl after she dropped her off at Ms. Lenora’s house.

She headed straight to the diner.

Oh my God, she thought as hunger pangs tore through her stomach. She had to bite her bottom lip to keep from hollering out. The cramps stopped her in her tracks. Why in the hell does it have to hurt so bad? she thought. She dropped her book bag on the pavement, clutched her stomach, and pressed her cheek against the hot metal of the mailbox on the corner of 29th and Oxford. Feed the Children should make a stop at 31st Street with one of those food trucks before they go over to Africa, for real.

An elderly woman pushing a rickety old shopping cart paused beside Violet. “Are you all right, child?”

“I’m fine, ma’am.” Violet forced a smile. “I just had a little pain in my stomach, that’s all. It’s gone now.”

The older woman frowned. “Are you sure, honey? I live right up the street there, and I could call somebody for you if you’d like.”

Violet instantly thought of Kyle. She knew his number by heart, and he had told her to call him if she ever needed anything. I wonder what would happen if Kyle came to pick me up. Violet rolled her eyes. Begonia would kill me, that’s what would happen. I would die before I had a chance to turn sixteen, she thought.

Violet smiled at the older woman. “No, you don’t have to do that.” She picked up her book bag. “I’m going to the diner across the street. I’ll be fine.” She hurried across the street and checked her watch. Damn, it’s 7:30 already. She hesitated a moment before going inside. I’m already late for homeroom. If I turn around now, I’ll make it to first period on time. Her stomach rumbled loudly.

“Well, I guess that settles that.” She chuckled and entered the diner.

Mr. Jim and Ms. Kelly were arguing over the small black and white TV behind the counter. Mr. Jim slapped his hand down on the countertop. “I want to watch the news.”

“I know that, dumb ass. I’m turning it to the news.”

“Well, watcha turnin’ it for? It was already on the news.”

“I only watch Channel 10 News, and you know that.”

“All’s I know is that I’m going to crack yo fo’head if you touch that TV ’gain.”

Ms. Kelly turned from the TV and stuck her head in Mr. Jim’s face. “Go ’head and crack it, Jim. I dare ya. I double dog dare ya to lay one hand on me. I betcha it’ll be the last damn thing you do with that hand.”

Mr. Jim leaned back from the counter. “Girl, move ya big ol’ head from in front of the TV. Ain’t nobody playing with you.”

Violet shook her head and laid her book bag down on the table at the first booth. Ms. Kelly looked up at her and smiled. Then she looked at the clock on the wall.

“Shouldn’t you be in school, baby?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m going to go straight there after I eat.”

“Does Begonia know that you’re here?”

Begonia is not my mother, she thought. “Yes, she’s the one who told me to come here.”

“All right, baby, but don’t be trying to hang around. Eat your food then carry yourself on up to school.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How’s your mother doing?”

“She’s still cracked out.”

“Now that’s just ugly, Violet. Your mother is sick, so don’t be talking ’bout her like that. A simple ‘she’s doing good,’ or ‘she’s doing the same’ would do.”

Mr. Jim took a sip of his coffee. “The little girl ain’t lying, Kelly. You know Doreen’s cracked out.”

“Shut up, Jim, and mind ya own business.” She turned to Violet. “You heard what I said, didn’t ya?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“All right.” She took the hand towel from her shoulder and started to wipe off the counter. “Now, what can I get you to eat?”

Violet looked up at the menus on the wall. “I’ll have three pancakes, two eggs scrambled with cheese, sausage, bacon, scrapple, wheat toast, and a corn muffin.”

Ms. Kelly chuckled. “Is that it? You sure you don’t want any grits and hash browns with all that?”

Violet smiled. “No, but I do want some milk.” She flopped down in the booth.

“Jim, did you hear what that little girl just ordered?”

Mr. Jim looked over his shoulder at Violet. “I sure did. She must have a tapeworm or something.”

Violet stared out of the window and pretended not to hear their comments. Getting a regular meal was becoming harder and harder for them. She was tired of acting like everything was OK. She was tired of Begonia acting like she had everything under control, but most of all, she was tired of being worried and scared all the time.

Her mind drifted to Kyle again. Shakiyya had told her not to mess with him. She said that he was dangerous. But Violet just couldn’t figure how someone so sweet could be dangerous at all. I mean, I know he sells dope, but half the boys around the way do that. Violet smirked. There is nothing else for them to do.

Violet shook all thoughts of Kyle out of her head. She watched as a young girl swung her toddler up into her arms. The baby was giggling and squealing with joy. Violet smiled, thinking of Daisy. God, please let her be okay! A lone tear worked its way down Violet’s cheek, and she wiped it away quickly, looking around to make sure no one noticed. She wondered what Kyle was doing. It was too early for him to be posted on the block.

Ms. Kelly put a plate of food in front of Violet, and she dug into it before it hit the table. Violet stuffed a sausage in her mouth, and Ms. Kelly chuckled.

“It ain’t going anywhere, girl. Take your time.”

Violet couldn’t even hear her. Heaven was spread out before her in the form of buttermilk pancakes and a mountain of scrambled eggs. She swallowed her first few bites whole, trying to sate the hollow in her gut.

Begonia opened her mother’s door, and the smell of crack cocaine smacked her in the face. Her nostrils flared, and her eyes watered. No matter how many times she smelled it, she could never get used to the stench of freebase. “Uncle Dave” was lying face down on the piss-stained mattress that their mother had dragged in from the trash. He was surrounded by crushed beer cans, little empty baggies of cocaine, and cut-off straws. Begonia ignored him. She turned her attention to her mother, who was sitting on a silver fold-out chair in a serious drug-induced stupor.

She looks like something from a horror movie, Begonia thought. Her skin was ashy and gray, her long black hair was matted and nappy, and her eyes were beginning to sink into her skull. Naked from the waist down, Begonia’s mother cradled a glass pipe in her lap, and her head lolled to the side while drool slithered from her chin to her shoulder.

They’re having a fucking party, she thought.

Begonia hopped over the mattress, ripped the pipe from her mother’s hand, and chucked it across the room. “Wake the hell up!” Begonia screamed.

Her mother didn’t budge. Begonia grabbed her shirt and yanked her up from the chair. “Momma, Momma, wake up!” She shook her mother so hard that her head snapped back, and drool rolled into her nose.

Doreen choked, sputtered, and opened her eyes. She cringed at the look on Begonia’s face. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“I ain’t your baby, you trifling piece of shit. I want you to tell me how much you got for Daisy’s medicine.”

Doreen’s eyes almost popped out of her head, and Begonia flung her back into the chair.

“I want you to tell me what kind of woman sells her two-year-old baby’s diabetic supplies. Huh, Momma? Can you tell me that?”

“Baby, I didn’t touch—”

Begonia smacked her mother so hard that her hand stung. Doreen raised her hand to her face and cradled her cheek in disbelief. Her eyes were wide and full of fear. The shock of the blow burned away some of her high. She took a deep breath as her eyes filled with tears.

“Begonia, I swear I didn’t touch—”

Begonia raised her hand to strike her again, but Dave caught her wrist and twisted it behind her back. She rammed her elbow into his stomach and then swung around to punch him square in his jaw.

Dave grunted and fell back against the wall. His bloodshot eyes registered shock and alarm. Begonia dug a switchblade out of her back pocket and stuck it between Dave’s legs.

“Whoa, shawty, what the fuck are you doing?”

Begonia pressed the blade against his nuts. “Put your hands on me again, slick, and I’ll cut your balls off quicker than you can say sorry.”

Dave recognized the truth in the statement by the hate in her eyes.

“Noooo!” Doreen screamed. She stretched out her arms toward Begonia but stayed glued to the seat. “Please, don’t hurt him, Bee.”

Begonia’s jaw clenched. I know this bitch didn’t just scream out for him.

Dave looked down at Begonia as if she’d grown horns. “Look, you need to calm down, shawty, for real.” He held his hands up and stood on his tippy toes, trying to distance himself from the blade in Begonia’s hand. “Look, put the knife away. I’m out of here.” He looked over at Doreen, who was trying to curl up into a ball on the chair. “There is something the fuck wrong with your daughter, yo. I don’t have to put up with this shit.”

“You damn right there is something wrong with me. I got a thing about no-good, cracked-out, limp-dick motherfuckers in my house.” Begonia backed up a few paces to allow him to leave, but she kept her blade visible. Dave eased down, grabbed his shirt, and high-tailed it out of there.

“Baby,” Doreen whimpered. “You have to believe me. I would never sell Daisy’s medicine.”

Begonia closed her eyes in an attempt to shut out the pain. Her heart rose into her throat. She turned to her mother and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. Her mother eyed the knife in her hand, so Begonia slipped it into her back pocket.

“You have twenty minutes to get your shit and get out.”

“What?” Doreen dropped her feet from the chair.

“Momma, I’m only going to say this one more time. I’m giving you twenty minutes. Get out or get thrown out.”

“But I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“You should have thought about that before you sold my sister’s meds.”

Syrup dripped down Violet’s chin. She scrubbed it away with the back of her hand and stuffed another sausage in her mouth. Oh my God. This is so good, she thought. I bet this is what sex feels like.

Ms. Kelly looked over at Violet and frowned. “Slow down, baby. That food ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Violet took a big gulp of milk and smiled, too happy to be ashamed. “I know, Ms. Kelly. It’s just sooooo good.” She squeezed ketchup over her eggs and folded a piece of bacon into her mouth.

Mr. Jim ducked under the counter and pulled out a bag of plastic to-go containers. “Leave the little girl alone, Kelly.”

“Shut up, Jim.”

Violet ignored them, determined to clean each plate of food in front of her. She scooped up a heaping spoonful of eggs, rolled her eyes in pure pleasure, savored the flavor, and then stuffed more eggs in her mouth. She knew she looked a mess with butter and ketchup running down her chin, but she couldn’t help it. Violet didn’t know when the last time was that she ate so well. You need to stop acting like a pig, she thought as she reached for the napkin to wipe her mouth.

The door chime sounded, and Violet turned around in time to see Kyle and two of his boys stroll in. His friends went to the counter to order, but Kyle headed straight toward her.

“What’s up, young’n?” Kyle asked, smiling.

Violet choked on her eggs.

“Yo, you a’ight, shawty?” Kyle moved in to pat her back.

Violet coughed once and unthinkingly reached for her milk, knocking it onto the table. Her eyes watered, and she clawed at her chest. She tried to stand up but was caught by the table and only managed to send two of her plates skittering to the floor.

Ms. Kelly turned from the TV at the sound. “Oh my God, Jim, she’s choking.”

“Move, boy!” Mr. Jim yelled. He hopped over the counter and snatched her from the booth and jerked her toward him.

“Come on, baby,” he said, repeating the Heimlich. “Let it out.”

Her eggs shot across the room.

“Daaaaaaamn,” the young boy by the counter said. “That’s some nasty shit right there.”

“I know, right?” said his friend. “Make a nigga lose his appetite.”

Violet doubled over, gagging while Mr. Jim rubbed her back.

“That’s it, baby. Let it all out.”

She coughed and spilled her breakfast onto the floor.

Ms. Kelly slapped her rag down on the counter. “Why in the hell are you staring at her? Order or get the hell out.”

“How the fuck can somebody eat after seeing that shit?”

“If you’re not eating, then you’re leaving. Now, get gone.”

Violet stood up and locked eyes with Kyle. The look of pity on his face was too much for her to bear. She turned on her heels and ran to the bathroom.

Begonia stood in the bedroom that she shared with her sisters and waited for her mother to leave. She walked over to the window and stared down at the backyard. The leaves were beginning to turn a yellowish brown and fall to the dirt below. Her mind was racing, and her breaths were coming hard and . . .