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Every nerve in Meera’s body sparked with tension on her way back to the peninsula from Kennick’s family home. Being on edge made the relatively short flight feel eternally long, but eventually, Shaya landed on the grassy slope, crushing flowers beneath her massive, clawed feet. Meera leapt from her back, charged and ready to fight an enemy that was not there. As she released the shape-shield she was using to block out the wind, a warm summer’s breeze buffeted her face half-heartedly, and white lace flowers beat ineffectually at her shins. She was otherwise unaccosted.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself after the council’s attack. Meera had no idea what to expect now that the majority of the Queen’s Council had declared her a threat to Levisade and had sought to detain or kill her, but she refused to run and hide; the Riders’ Holt was her home—whether she was an official rider or not—and she wouldn’t abandon it so easily.
Hadjal and Sodhu emerged from their ancient wooden house and waved to her. They appeared mildly intrigued by Shaya’s arrival, considering Meera had not seen or heard from her raek in weeks. Shaya, of course, was not at all remorseful for her long absence. Rather, she seemed quite pleased with herself for showing up right when she had been needed. Meera ignored the smugness emanating from the raek as Shaya began to lick and preen her already spotlessly glossy feathers. Then she took another steadying breath and loped easily through the thick grass to tell her family her news.
“Well?” Hadjal asked, wondering whether Darreal’s council had accepted Meera as the newest Raek Rider of Levisade.
Meera hadn’t actually told the others—except for Kennick—that she’d had no intention of swearing an oath to the riders or to Levisade. She had already pledged herself to helping Shaya end the war; her loyalties were spoken for. Beyond that, she felt compelled to maintain her autonomy and the ability to act on her own conscience. She had been a traitor once to free Shael and didn’t relish the idea of being one again. “They tried to kill me!” she announced without preamble. Then she sat at the table and helped herself to some fruit, having barely eaten anything that day.
Neither Hadjal nor Sodhu moved for several seconds; they stood staring at Meera and processing what she had said. Sodhu, who flinched from conflict of any sort, looked like she wanted to wrap her two long braids around her face and hide from the world, but Hadjal’s golden-hued eyes were calculating. Finally, she sighed. “Before you explain, let me get the others,” she replied, walking away to drag her fellow riders from their training. It was mid-afternoon, and they wouldn’t normally gather for dinner for several more hours.
Meera squished a palmful of grapes between her teeth all at once and regarded Sodhu. “It’s alright,” she told the older knell woman. “You can tell Darreal I’m here.” She knew Sodhu regularly reported to the queen. It seemed to be how she fulfilled her role as a council member even though she never attended meetings. Sodhu nodded and went into the house, presumably to write a letter and send it with her
carrier bird.
Meera dug her fingernails into the vibrant peel of an orange, but after several attempts at removing the fruit from its waxy armor, she grew frustrated and ignited the orange in pale flames, burning away the peel and leaving the inner fruit intact. When Isbaen approached the table, she handed him a slice, which he took with a friendly smile. He didn’t ask her what was going on; he knew she would explain soon enough. Isbaen, as usual, had the calm patience of a heron waiting for fish.
“Where’s Gendryl?” Meera asked, inquiring after his new partner. Gendryl had been spending a lot of time on the peninsula lately. Meera was still trying to get to know the shy knell man, but she enjoyed seeing him with Isbaen—their joy in one another radiated off of them, often lightening her mood.
“He returned to his farm to make sure everything was running smoothly in his absence and to visit the animals,” Isbaen replied. At Meera’s confused look, he explained, “Gendryl has a dairy farm. Cheesemaking is his passion.”
Meera nodded and wondered how she had not known that. She loved cheese, so this bit of information only made her like Gendryl even more.
After several minutes, Katrea and Florean arrived at the table together looking wary. Then Shael appeared, sweaty from whatever he had been doing. He broke a slice off of Meera’s orange and crammed it into his mouth before sitting in his usual seat next to her, and the casual interaction eased some of Meera’s tension; she felt like she and Shael were truly on their way to being friends again after their short-lived, misbegotten romance.
Finally, Hadjal returned with a scowling Soleille. “This had better be good, Meera,” Soleille spat, clearly disgruntled from being interrupted. Her stormy face was at odds with her sunny blonde hair.
“Define good,” Meera replied tonelessly. All of the other riders were gathered except for Kennick—who she hoped wasn’t having a hard time cleaning up after her hasty departure—and they all looked at her expectantly. “So … I should maybe tell you all that I never actually wanted the council to make me a rider …” she began awkwardly, grimacing at the looks of shock and confusion around her.
“Instead, I asked them to consider helping Shaya and I end the war. Darreal seemed receptive to the idea, but … well, the other council members
declared that I was a threat to Levisade and tried to detain me against Darreal’s wishes. When they couldn’t detain me, they tried to kill me, so I jumped out the window and left.” Meera told her story in an undignified flurry of words before looking down at the table and drumming her fingers against the wood.
“The council acted against Darreal’s orders?” Sodhu asked, sounding alarmed.
Meera nodded.
“Where is Kennick?” Shael asked.
“He’s still there, I guess,” she replied. Glancing up at the sky, she hoped to see Endu any moment.
“Why did you not tell us your plan, Meera? We thought you wanted to be accepted as a rider,” Isbaen said.
Meera felt shame churn in her gut as she appraised the sincere expression on his handsome, angular face. “I do—I mean, I want to be one of you, I just don’t want to swear any oaths that I can’t keep,” she explained.
Isbaen hummed in understanding, but Meera refrained from comparing him to his brother. Then she glanced at Hadjal, who looked extremely tired and didn’t meet her gaze. Hadjal was the unofficial leader of the riders, and she and Meera had been struggling to coexist lately. Meera wondered if the older knell woman would now see fit to cast her out entirely—she had not been swift to accept Meera’s abilities, after all.
Hadjal took a deep breath and looked up at everyone. “All we can do is wait and see what will happen next,” she said. “If Darreal did not want Meera captured, then there is no reason we cannot continue to shelter her and train with her. I do not know how Darreal will regain her authority, but there is nothing we need to do unless called upon.”
Everyone nodded their agreement. Meera felt relieved that she wouldn’t be thrown out of her cabin, but she didn’t much like the idea of waiting around for news. Just then, Shaya squawked as Endu descended from the clouds above and landed on the slope. Standing from the bench, Meera ran for Kennick, surging with relief. He leapt gracefully from his raek and caught her as she pummeled into him. She didn’t hug him, exactly, but she grabbed his waist and held him steady to inspect him for damage. “Are you okay?” she asked. “The council didn’t turn on you, did they?”
“No,” he replied.
Realizing, she was still clutching him, she dropped her hands to her sides. Kennick was
gazing down at her without any of his usual humor; his dark eyes looked troubled. “I was worried you would be far away. I did not know if you would come back here,” he admitted.
Meera shrugged. “This is my home,” she said. Looking up at him, she wanted to tell him that he was her family, but she didn’t. The night before had left things unsettled between them.
“You did not need to run. I would have fought with you,” he said. Meera gazed at him; she had never actually seen Kennick upset before and thought that this might be it—subtle as it was. His arms were crossed instead of loose, and a very slight crease showed between his eyebrows.
“You did fight with me,” she replied. Then, quieter, she added, “I’m sorry I left you there—I shouldn’t have.”
With a shake of his head, Kennick’s momentary anger subsided just like that, and his arms uncrossed. “You needed to leave,” he said with a loose shrug. Then he turned and started untying two bags from Endu’s straps.
“What happened after I left?” Meera asked.
“There was a lot of confusion, which was made worse when my mother’s temper flared, and she set the walls on fire. Everyone ran out of the room. The last I saw of Darreal, she was striding down the hallway, alone. I summoned Endu, packed our bags, and left. I had hoped to catch you in the air, but you were much too fast,” he replied with his back turned to her.
Meera nodded dully even though he couldn’t see her. She was feeling worse and worse for leaving him there. He turned and handed her her bag, which looked fuller than she remembered. Peering inside, she found her dress and shoes from the ball. The ball felt like it had been weeks ago. “Thank you. Your mother probably would have burned my stuff if you hadn’t gotten it,” she said.
For a moment, they both stood with their bags slung over their shoulders and regarded each other awkwardly. Meera felt like there was something she still needed to say, but she wasn’t sure what it was. She wanted the usual gleam to return to Kennick’s eyes and for his pointy canine tooth to make an appearance when he smirked.
Shaya was still in the clearing, and she shifted her weight to observe Kennick and Endu. Endu shifted in return and some sort of raek show-down ensued. Meera hoped they wouldn’t start fighting. “Is this your new
mate?” Shaya asked her.
“No!” Meera replied mentally, feeling blood rush to her face even though she knew Kennick couldn’t hear them.
“He has better plumage than the last one,” Shaya commented.
Meera felt laughter bubble in her stomach, but she pushed it down. “Not too gaudy for you?” she asked her raek.
Shaya puffed a bit of smoke. “No, but maybe it is the summer air talking,” she replied.
Meera did laugh then, realizing her raek was feeling lustful. She wondered whether Shaya was appraising Kennick’s plumage or Endu’s.
Kennick had been looking between the two raeken with caution, but his attention moved to Meera in curiosity. “What?” he asked.
She was still laughing and wiped a stray tear from her eye. “Shaya likes your plumage,” she said, which made Kennick grin. “Also, we might want to leave these two alone,” she added, gesturing to their raeken with a pointed look.
Kennick’s eyes widened, and his eyebrows rose in understanding. He laughed with her, and they walked to Hadjal’s table. Everyone greeted him, relieved that he had returned safely. Then Hadjal, Isbaen, and Florean questioned Kennick about what had happened even though he didn’t have anything new to add to Meera’s story. After a while, the questions ran dry, and the riders all sat for several moments in silence together, each individually digesting the current situation.
“So, since no one is in imminent danger … Meera, how was the ball?” Soleille asked, leaning forward excitedly. Her earlier irritation at being interrupted was obviously forgotten. “I want to know everything!” she continued before Meera could even answer. “In fact, I want to see the dress! You have the dress, right?” Soleille rose from her bench and went around the table to grab Meera, hauling her to her feet and dragging her toward the cabin.
“Seriously?” Meera asked. “Right now?”
“Right now!” Soleille chirped.
“I want to see it!” Katrea said, getting up and following them.
“You do?” Meera asked, baffled.
“No, but I do not want to miss anything,” Katrea said honestly, making Meera laugh.
Wrenching her arm free of Soleille’s surprisingly strong grip, she walked toward her cabin with the other two female riders—the young-ish ones, anyway. Once they were all stuffed into the small space together
Soleille continued her stream of enthusiasm: “I want to know everything! Who was there, what they were wearing, who they danced with—did you dance? What happened with Kennick? Oh! Start there!”
Meera had started pulling out her dress and shoes, but at that, she stopped and gaped at Soleille. “With Kennick?” she asked in mock confusion. “Nothing happened …”
“Meera, you are a terrible liar,” Katrea intoned. The large, muscular woman was sitting on what had been Meera’s father’s bed and making it look doll-sized.
“What happened?” Soleille gasped, leaning so close to Meera that she flinched away.
Meera wanted to bond with these women, but she also didn’t quite feel comfortable discussing Kennick with them. He was her friend, too, and she didn’t want to betray his trust. Soleille was like a prying older sister who, Meera suspected, might blab her secrets to anyone who would listen the second she walked away. “Nothing—really,” she lied.
Soleille looked annoyed, but she let the matter drop. “Well, let us see the dress!” she chirped.
Meera pulled out the dress, which was carefully folded, and as she unfolded the shimmering bluish white fabric, the necklace Kennick had made her fell out onto her bed. She smiled at it, unsurprised that he had tried once more to make her keep the extravagant piece of jewelry. Picking it up, she saw that he had fixed the damage she had caused, made it more pliable with little hinges, and added clasps to the back.
“Oooh, what is that?” Katrea asked, eyes drawn to the sparkling diamonds.
“Turn around, and I’ll show you!” Meera said forcefully.
Both Katrea and Soleille turned their backs to her impatiently. Meera hadn’t actually needed privacy to change; she just didn’t want them staring at her while she sorted through the emotions her outfit from the night before caused her. Now that it was the light of day and she had survived her meeting with the council, she wondered whether she had made the right decision. She couldn’t exactly lie to herself about the fluttering feelings Kennick caused in her stomach.
Changing into her dress, she put on her shoes and necklace, leaving her hair half-back as it was. She didn’t have a large mirror in the tiny cabin, but she didn’t need one; the feel of the dress on her body and the swirling necklace overlaying her silvery scars brought
back how beautiful she had felt the previous evening. Meera tried not to also think about the feeling of Kennick’s lips on hers, but she was unsuccessful. “Okay,” she said.
Soleille and Katrea both turned in unison and gasped. Soleille, for once, seemed speechless—at first, anyway. “Kennick gave you that dress and that necklace, and he did not try to take you to bed with him?” she finally asked, sounding incredulous.
Meera rolled her eyes.
Katrea whistled low. “I have never seen so many diamonds,” she said, staring at the necklace. Meera had had the same thought the night before, and she sighed; she really shouldn’t keep it, but she really wanted to.
“Come on! Hadjal and Sodhu have to see this,” Soleille said before once more grabbing Meera’s arm and hauling her away. “No! Soleille, stop,” Meera argued as they rounded Hadjal’s house. She felt like she had already made enough of a spectacle of herself that day—and every other day—and didn’t need to be paraded around in her new finery.
Soleille was deaf to her pleas, however; she dragged Meera up to the table, where the other riders still loitered. Katrea followed behind them. “Tada!” Soleille cried, as if she had something to do with making Meera look so good.
Meera rolled her eyes again. Unfortunately, she then looked straight into Shael’s pained face and quickly averted her gaze. Hadjal and Sodhu both fussed over how pretty she looked, and even Florean gave her a compliment. “This is some fine work you did,” Soleille said to Kennick, who already looked pleased enough with himself. “I expect you to do the same for me next summer,” she added threateningly.
He laughed. “I could not possibly dress you better than you dress yourself, Soleille,” he said flatteringly.
Soleille practically purred, and Meera found herself wondering whether the two of them had ever slept together. But she pushed the thought aside. Feeling like the show was over, she unclasped the necklace from her neck and held it out for Kennick. He put his hands obstinately behind his back. Undeterred, she stepped forward, wrenched one of his hands from behind his back with her knell strength, and dropped the necklace into it.
At first, Meera worried he would be offended, but Kennick merely laughed like
they were playing his favorite game. “You know, you did that with a lot more pizazz last time,” he said, referring to her impromptu metal shaping. He slipped the necklace into one of his human-style pockets, but Meera had a feeling she would see it again. The feeling tickled her stomach and made her smile.
“Funny story about that,” she said. “Shaya came back because she thought someone was strangling me,” she told him.
He laughed with her, and everyone else looked confused—except Shael, who was staring down at the table like he might die if he looked anywhere else. At the sight of him, Meera gave everyone a mock curtsy and hurried away to change. She had thought she and Shael were ready to be friends, but the look on his face told her otherwise; he was clearly not over his feelings for her. The thought was extremely confusing because all Meera had wanted weeks ago was to have proof of Shael’s love for her. Now, it was written all over his face, and she wished that it wasn’t. Was she flighty? Had she flitted from Shael to Kennick too easily?
She felt tempted to judge her feelings, but she didn’t actually think she was being unreasonable. She couldn’t help how she felt. Besides, she had returned from her training ready to be with Shael, and he had pushed her away—not for the first time, either. Shael had hurt her, and Kennick never had—not yet anyway. Kennick made her feel seen and heard and understood and beautiful. He made her laugh.
Meera sighed. Then there was the fact that Kennick had confessed his feelings for her, and she had turned him down. Why had she done that? She remembered her reasons, but at that moment, she couldn’t remember why she had thought they outweighed the possibility of love. What if she could be with Kennick and not have it end in disaster? If she never tried, wouldn’t she always wonder? She probably would.
The next few days passed restlessly while everyone waited for news. Meera struggled to sleep at night and found herself constantly on edge. It gave her some comfort that Shaya stayed nearby, but she suspected her raek’s behavior had more to do with her infatuation with Endu than concern for her. The bizarre, pseudo flirtatious behavior of their raeken only added an extra layer of discomfort to her interactions with Kennick—although, they spent time together and sparred like nothing had ever happened. Neither one of them ever mentioned the night of the ball. Meera oscillated between fretting about her relationship with Kennick and worrying about her future in Levisade.
Finally, a letter came for her from Darreal. Sodhu and Hadjal both received letters as well, and everyone gathered around the table to hear what news they bore. Meera unrolled hers quickly and stood to read it; her body coursed with too many sparking nerves for her to sit down.
The note read:
Meera Hailship,
I hereby appoint you and Shaya as Levisade’s first Ambassadors to the Wild Raeken. In this role, you are both welcome to remain within Levisade so long as you follow our laws. Failure to follow our laws will result in your immediate expulsion. For your role, you will be granted a stipend (details below).
Furthermore, I am hosting a summit meeting in two months that I expect you both to attend. In my role as queen, I will be conducting this meeting with my newly appointed council and Aegorn’s human heads of state to discuss the war, the details of which are as follows …
Meera’s eyes briefly skimmed the rest of the note, which detailed the plans for Darreal’s summit as well as the sum of her monthly stipend. She was pleased to be welcome in Levisade and relieved to have a source of income, but her heart also pounded at the thought of standing in front of people and giving yet another speech about why knell should help end the war. Her last speech hadn’t been planned and hadn’t exactly ended well.
Somehow, when Meera had agreed to help Shaya end the war, she had not imagined her role being so formal. She wasn’t sure exactly what she had pictured—considering she also wasn’t keen on flying into battle and killing people—but violence was at least something she knew how to train for … With a sigh, she thought she was at least safe and could remain at the peninsula—for now.
“Well?” Hadjal asked. Everyone was staring at Meera expectantly. Rather than explain, she read the note aloud, which elicited a lot of relieved exclamations.
“Newly appointed council?” Florean asked.
Sodhu unrolled her own note. ...
