Felicia Caldwell has a great job, a healthy bank account, and stunning good looks. But she longs for a husband and family to go along with it. So when charismatic superstar pastor Nya Hempstead declares that partnership is on its way, Felicia is elated - until her life becomes filled with more curses than blessings.
Five years later, someone has to pay-and that someone is Nya. Soon, Felicia is moving to Dallas and joins the church led by Nya and her co-pastor husband, Gregory. In the eyes of the public, Nya and Gregory have the perfect life. But their marriage is feeling the strain of Nya's success. While she's hitting the talk show circuit and the bestseller list, Gregory is fading into the background. It's no surprise he enjoys the fawning attention of new church member, Felicia. Little does he know her intentions are far from pure. And as she infiltrates the pastors' lives it will take a team of prayer warriors and heavenly intervention to save their relationship - and their ministry. Along the way, will they remember the mission they started with?
Release date:
March 1, 2016
Publisher:
Kensington Books
Print pages:
272
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No, that’s wrong. I should say this could be our big break, mine and Greg’s. My speaking engagement today could take our ministry to the next level.
When First Lady Bowens invited me to her Women’s Empowerment conference, I knew it was God. First Lady Bowens, or Lady Sandy as she likes to be called, is only the most popular pastor’s wife in Dallas. She and her husband built their ministry, the Pathway Church, from a Bible study in a high school gym, and now they have ten thousand members. Speaking in the pulpit of their church could launch a minister into the very lucrative speaking circuit. This could mean invitations to conferences and churches all over the country. All over the world, even.
It’s exactly what Greg and I had in mind when we started our little church, Love First International. The international part was partially an inside joke between me and Greg. We weren’t anything close to being international when we started. We still aren’t. We’re a local storefront church trying to impact the community with a little bit of money and a whole lot of love.
But the other reason for our church name is because God showed me in a vision that we would be known worldwide. It almost makes me cringe to tell people about that vision, because everybody is a prophet these days. A person can call an eight hundred number to get a prophetic word over their life. These days, saying that you have a prophetic gift is almost enough to get you laughed out of town.
Except that I really do have the gift.
It runs in my family. My cousin Zenovia is a minister right now, operating in her gift at a church in Maryland. She’s low key with it, and doesn’t want to be famous for it, or even known for it. Maybe because the gift killed her mother, Audrey. Well, that’s wrong. It wasn’t the gift that killed Audrey. It was the combination of her gift and the schizophrenia that led her to take her own life.
I married Greg because he didn’t run from me when I told him about my prophecies. He was intrigued by it; in awe of it even. And he believed that we would do great work together. A vision of us speaking in front of a crowd of thousands confirmed it for me, because I know the visions are real and from God.
Even still, I have to admit that when I received the invitation from Lady Sandy, I was a little bit nervous. Okay, not just a little nervous. I was terrified.
Greg is always at my side when I preach. We’re a tag team. We prepare our sermons together and flow so effortlessly that we finish one another’s sentences. I can tell when he needs a break and step in without missing a beat, and he does the same for me. Our congregation loves it, and it is effective for us.
But for this occasion, this Women’s Empowerment conference, I have to do this alone. Lady Sandy said she was inspired by Beyoncé’s all-girl tour, and she only wants women musicians, worship leaders, and speakers. All-girl everything. She said that in order to empower women, women needed to be in power. So I was invited to do this engagement without Greg.
When I told Greg about the invitation he was supportive, if not a little hurt about not being invited himself. Ultimately, though, he gave me his approval. I wouldn’t have done it without his blessing.
Greg knows I would’ve been a fool to turn it down, but I don’t know if I’m ready to do this without my husband by my side. These women are expecting God to show up with a prophetic word. The only reason I got the invitation to speak is because I gave Lady Sandy a prophecy about a woman in her congregation who was pursuing her husband, and it was true. Lady Sandy believes in the gift and wants to show these women something miraculous.
So they’re waiting to hear what God has to say about their lives. And I have to deliver. Talk about being under pressure.
The problem with the gift is that God cannot be scheduled. He does not move just because there’s an arena full of women. He speaks on His timing and only when He has something to say. I hate to tell people that, though, because they think I’m a fraud if I can’t give them what they want.
Believers don’t understand that faith is trusting God without getting confirmation, and that God wants us to trust Him. Hearing a word from God for one person’s situation is so rare for me. When it happens, it is truly a miracle, so I’ve tried not to build my ministry on the prophecies. I study and prepare to expound on a scripture and provide a word of wisdom straight from the Bible. And when God doesn’t give me a prophetic word, I preach, pray, and speak blessings over the women.
Usually those prayers and blessings are enough. But today is different. My reputation is going to rest on me being able to deliver a fresh and anointed prophetic word from God.
My nerves are getting to me as I sit backstage at this church, waiting for it all to begin. The hustle and bustle seems more like a television production than a church conference. There are makeup artists, hair stylists, and assistants for all of the speakers—except me. I’m a newbie, and I only have my best friend, Tina, who is a beautician and has volunteered to stand in as a stylist.
Tina points her perfectly manicured nail toward a makeup chair. “Sit down and let me airbrush you,” she says.
“Do you know how to use that?”
“I had one of the other girls at the salon show me how. It’s pretty easy, actually.” She gives a shrug, like this isn’t all that important.
I know I can trust Tina with my hair, ’cause she’s been doing it since we were teenagers, but I’m not sure about the makeup part. This is definitely an experiment.
“Do you think I would have you out here looking crazy?” Tina asks when I still hesitate to sit down in that makeup chair. She flips her long wig out of her face and gives me a lifted-eyebrow glare. I guess I should know better.
“No, but you know how important this is! It’s going to be streaming live all over the world, and on Daystar.”
Tina nods and pulls me down into the chair. “I do know how important this is to you, honey. I want you and Greg to blow up. Shoot, you can be Oprah and I’ll be Gayle. You can get me designer handbags. And we can sit in the front rows together at New York Fashion Week. I won’t be mad.”
This makes me crack a smile. Tina is talented in her own right, and she’s gorgeous. Her hair is always on point. She has a different weave or wig every week, but she makes sure they look flawless. She should be doing hair for celebrities, and I think one day she will. That’s not a prophetic vision, that’s just me knowing my home girl is the bomb.
“You sure you know how to use it?” I ask again.
“Yes. I made all the other girls at the shop let me practice on them. The only one who didn’t look good was Ramona, and you know she is facially challenged anyway.”
I shake my head at Tina and laugh. “That was not right.”
“Maybe not, but it’s still true.”
I take one last skeptical look at the airbrush machine in Tina’s hand, and then I ease back into the chair. “Go ahead and make me camera ready.”
“Girlfriend, you woke up camera ready. I’m just frosting the cake. You know you’re gorgeous.”
I don’t know that I’m gorgeous. I know that I have a different look for an African American woman, with this bright red hair and green eyes, and it makes people ask me if I’m “mixed with something.” I’ve been hearing that my entire life.
“Make sure my freckles are nonexistent,” I say with a chuckle. “I woke up with a few new ones.”
“I think you ought to let them show,” Tina said. “They’re unique. They add to your aura.”
More than anything I can’t stand my freckles. They usually are what starts the “are you mixed” conversation. I am part Irish, but I don’t claim that side of my family, because the majority of them don’t know I exist. Only my father knew me, but he disappeared long ago. It’s crazy that I look more like him than my grandmother who raised me.
I’m not proud of it, but I spent my entire childhood being jealous of my darker cousins. They don’t carry the same badge of dishonor that I do. I am the product of rape, just like my mom and my Aunt Audrey. Every time someone remarks on my red hair or green eyes, it only reminds me that my mother, my grandmother, and my grandmother’s baby sister were all victims of a dirty lowlife who liked to put his hands on women he had no right to touch. The fact that he was a white man in the backwoods of East Texas protected him from the law, but not from my grandfather’s revenge.
Tina makes a few final brushes and then stands back to look at me, admiring her work. “Like I said, you’re flawless.”
I take the mirror from Tina’s hand, and I am shocked at my reflection. “Tina, you are a miracle worker.”
“I sure am, although a miracle wasn’t needed this time,” she says. “Do you need me to do anything else?”
My hair is popped, my makeup is on point, and my outfit cost less than a hundred dollars, but it looks like it was more expensive. I think I’m good—on the outside anyway.
“Nothing left to do except make myself a vessel and hope God shows up.”
“God’s got you! He’s always on time,” Tina says.
Penelope Bowens, Lady Sandy’s daughter, waves at me as she walks up to me and Tina. We’ve met before, and she’s very sweet. Gorgeous too. Like Tina, her hair is always different. This time it’s a two-toned weave that’s curled in big waves that tumble down her back. She’s so tiny that she looks frail in her cream dress, but her smile is huge and warm.
“Hi, Pastor Hampstead,” she says as she stops in front of me. “You look wonderful. Your stylist did an awesome job.”
“Oh, this is my home girl Tina, she’s not my—”
“I did, didn’t I?” Tina interjects, not letting me reveal that I don’t have an actual stylist yet.
“You did,” Penelope says.
“Are you going to speak tonight?” I ask, unsure about Penelope’s role in the service.
“I was going to speak, but I think I’m just going to sing. My mom doesn’t think I’m ready to speak yet. I’m still learning.”
“Oh, well, I’m sure you’ll do great,” I say.
“I will talk to you later,” Penelope says. “I need to go and drink some tea for my voice.”
“She seems sweet,” Tina says after Penelope leaves.
I nod in agreement. “She is.”
Lady Sandy struts over to me in her perfectly fitted and undoubtedly designer dress. It’s perfect for the spring season with its yellow top and flowered flare skirt. Her bright yellow stiletto heels have a red bottom that lets me know the shoes alone cost more than my entire wardrobe. And even though I just looked in the mirror and was happy with my reflection, Lady Sandy’s expertly coiffed swoop bang that covers one eye makes me want to tell Tina to start over from scratch.
“You look beautiful, dear,” Lady Sandy says. “This is your time! Get ready to walk in your purpose.”
Although I think I’ve already been walking in my purpose, I smile up at Lady Sandy. I can’t help it. Her beaming smile makes me feel like I just have to beam right back.
“I feel the presence of God here!” Lady Sandy says in a loud, booming voice, making it sound like an announcement.
Everyone stops to look over at Lady Sandy, and she bows her head and immediately starts to mumble a prayer. I can’t understand the words, but I respectfully bow my head until the moment passes. When she is done, she claps her hands and the staff and members backstage all say “Amen.” I don’t say anything, because I didn’t hear the prayer. “Amen” means agreement to me, and I can’t agree if I don’t know what was said.
“We’re set to begin in five minutes,” Lady Sandy says, again speaking directly to me. “Your life is never going to be the same after this.”
I don’t know why, but her statement sounds more like a warning than a positive omen.
Next, Lady Sandy is directed to the stage area to start the service, while the rest of us are left to watch the service on jumbo TV screens.
“What was that?” Tina whispers to me. “It was a little strange.”
“Shhh!” I whisper back. I don’t want anyone to hear Tina and have her skepticism mess up my opportunity to speak.
I agree that Lady Sandy’s actions were a little strange, but I think she’s just eccentric, and she doesn’t mean anything by it.
After listening to several well-known gospel artists sing praise and worship songs, I hear my biography being read and see my promotional picture flash across the big screen. I’ve been praying this entire time, and I don’t feel the same presence Lady Sandy says she felt. There’s a certain tickle that I feel on the inside when the gift is about to kick in, and I don’t feel it. But it’s not like I can back out, so I follow the conference volunteer to the stage entrance.
As I walk out, Lady Sandy extends her hand to me in a welcoming gesture. She smiles at me, and I try to smile back, but I’m so nervous that I know there’s more of a grimace on my face.
“I can’t wait for you all to hear God speak through this amazing woman. I knew she was anointed when she spoke a word over my life that could only have come from the throne of grace. I want everyone to point one hand toward this podium and say ‘Rhema word’!”
My breath catches in my throat as I take the microphone from Lady Sandy’s hand. She said rhema—a Greek word that means “revealed Word of God.” The deepy-deep church people only think of it as some sort of prophetic utterance. And that is what they expect from me today.
I clear my throat, and launch into my message. “Do you ever . . . sometimes want to ask God . . . why He’s taking His sweet time with your breakthrough?”
As soon as I ask the question, I get the response I knew would come. The loud roar of thousands of cries of agreement rocks the auditorium. For a moment, I am sad. So many hurting souls out there, with so many issues.
I continue my sermon and share the verses that spoke into my spirit, hoping that the women find comfort in what comforted me. I feel like I’m part preacher and part motivational speaker, with phrases like “don’t give up” and “you can make it” sandwiched between scripture expositions.
As I near the thirty-minute mark, women start to leave their seats and make their way to the altar. They’ve had enough of the appetizer, now they want the main course—the prophecies that will tell them their husband is coming (or coming back), their son is going to get off drugs, their daughter is going to come down from the stripper pole, they will make thousands of dollars selling homemade jewelry or body shapers. They want the prophecy and the promise.
I feel my heart rate increase as sweat saturates my brow. My hand trembles on the microphone and I grip it harder.
Then it happens. I feel the tickle in my midsection. God is going to give me a vision for this group of women, and I won’t get laughed out of here.
“Wait a minute, y’all. Yes, Holy Spirit. I’m listening.” I hold up one hand to hush the crowd while I try to concentrate on being a receiver.
I close my eyes and wait for God to flood me with images of the women in the auditorium—nuggets of what their lives have been, are now, and what they’ll be in the future. Instead, I’m flooded with images of myself. They fly by so quickly that I can barely make them out. I see myself wearing expensive clothes. I see myself running down the street barefoot. I see myself crying in a room that I’ve never seen before.
None of this has anything to do with these women.
When I open my eyes, a woman in all black is walking up the stairs to the stage. Security rushes in from both sides to subdue her, but when they do, she simply falls to her knees and cries out. She stretches her hand toward me.
“Pleeeeease!” she says.
The young woman is overweight by maybe thirty or forty pounds, but it looks like the dress she’s wearing is a holdover from when she was thinner. It pulls tightly over her rolls, and the buttons down the front strain to keep the dress closed. She’s wearing a long wig, and her face is pretty and a little plump.
I motion for the security to back off, and I walk over to the young woman with the microphone still in my hand.
Everyone is waiting for me to say something profound. A spiritually deep utterance. They want me to speak life into her situation, but all I can see is that broken version of myself from my vision.
I know the visions are true and from God. Rarely do I get them about my own life, and when I have in the past, they’ve only been confirmation of promises. This feels like another warning.
Then, one of the ministers in front of the church walks up to the young woman and places her hand on the woman’s back. The minister looks up at me and points to the sky.
“Speak, Lord!” she says loudly.
Then the rest of the ministers join her, almost chanting.
I glance back at Lady Sandy, who has both of her hands raised to the heavens. Only moments have passed, but it seems like time has ground to a halt.
I take a few more steps toward the girl and she wails louder. I don’t need God to show me that she’s at her rock bottom.
I lean in close and take her hand. “You’re going through the most difficult pain of your life, my sister,” I say, stating the obvious.
I send up a silent prayer. Lord, give me something for her! Just one thing!
“Help, Holy Ghost!” I say into the microphone, echoing my internal prayer.
As the girl continues to cry out, I make a humming sound in the microphone, as though I’m waiting for an answer—on hold from the Lord, if you will.
A hush comes over the sanctuary. It’s so quiet you could hear a fly land on a raindrop. It’s quiet enough to hear God whisper.
But He is silent.
I look down at the girl, out at the audience, and back at Lady Sandy. Silently, I repent for what I’m about to do.
“I am seeing you beneath a waterfall,” I say, “the blessings of God pouring over you like rain. You’ve been waiting for a long time. You’ve cried. You’ve been lonely—you’re still lonely, but God has not forgotten you. He says this dry season has neared its end and your rainy season is coming. Rain that causes everything in your life to spring forth and flourish. Purpose. Relationships. Vison and destiny! Get ready for it, honey. God says your blessing is coming, and it’s going to be sudden! A suddenly blessing!”
The girl is on her feet now and the crowd is in an uproar. Many women are shouting and dancing, including Lady Sandy, who is cutting a rug right on the stage.
I feel the excitement too. Energy beyond belief surges through my body. I even feel powerful.
“Suddenly!” I shout into the microphone, almost shocking myself with the growl in my voice.
E. . .
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