Chapter 1
Heading Home
‘Welcome to Perth International Airport. The local time is fifteen minutes to midnight and the temperature is 29 degrees. Please remain seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop.’
Simon Skeer looked at the Singaporean girl next to him as she gazed out of the aircraft window into the black Australian night. His thoughts backtracked to leaving Perth almost a year ago in search of fame and fortune in Southeast Asia; sort of.
It was more a thirst for adventure, excitement and new experiences than spotlights and financial rewards that had seen him take up a teaching job at the Antipodean Academy of Learning in Singapore. As things worked out there had been plenty of the above over the last eleven months.
The aircraft meandered towards the bright Terminal building looming ever larger outside. The crew busied themselves, as only airline crew can, ignoring the passengers who had unfastened their seat belts and were standing in anticipation of a swift exit.
Siew Moi turned to him, eyes widening and Simon answered the unspoken question.
‘We’re here. Welcome to Australia,’ he smiled, waiting for the aircraft’s twist and turns to end. ‘Such a lot has happened since I was home.’
‘That will teach you to go teaching in foreign parts,’ the pretty girl smiled.
‘Absolutely. You never know who you might meet along the way,’ he agreed. ‘Especially if you happen to wander into a Singapore bookshop and speak to the first person you see.’ He was recapping as to how they met, silently thanking the God of Bookbinders for leading him to the bookshop where Siew Moi worked.
His family visited Singapore in September and had a great time. They got on well with Siew Moi, and his parents – Glad and Perce, Aussie Okkers of the Outback kind – had insisted that Simon bring her to Oz for the Christmas holidays.
The Invitation was endorsed enthusiastically by seventeen-year-old twins Oona and Kate as well as brother Kevin, a few years younger, and the deal was done.
Except for a slight hiccup (huge actually) when Simon disgraced himself at a Chinese Wedding Dinner. Things quickly went backwards after the event and the lady announced she wasn’t going to Oz with him, in fact she wasn’t going anywhere with him. He was clearly out of favour, out of order, out of luck, out for the count.
It had taken much advanced grovelling before she changed her mind and all had been forgiven. Well, sort of. Anyway, here they now were: Australia and Simon wondered as to what kind of welcome waited outside the Exit doors.
When the family had seen him off in January his mother had jammed an Australian bushman’s hat on his head, complete with dangling corks. A fluffy toy dingo was handed over by the twins and given the first-thought-of name of Arthur when a security checker asked who or what it was. As it turned out the fellow had the same name, a pure coincidence Simon assured him and quickly left.
Arrival formalities completed, and thoughts back in the present, the duo collected their baggage, grabbed a luggage trolley, and headed for the Exit. An outside barrier kept visitors away from the doors and as the duo turned left along the exit channel each looked around for familiar faces.
It wasn’t so much the faces, more so the five coolie hats, bobbing up and down behind a droopy plastic palm twenty yards away, which caught their attention. There they were, all present and not very correct, some distance away from the crowd. Each wore a coolie hat and waved a furry Chinese dragon at the couple.
‘Hooroo, darls…’ Glad called, beside herself with excitement as she threw her red dragon in the air on spotting the couple. Pushing her way past abandoned trolleys like a rugby forward on the charge she flung herself at her firstborn, all but removing his scalp in a single slice with her sharp-edged hat.
Dodging the incoming attack with a nifty dip to the right Simon managed to avoid her weapon of straw destruction. He grinned up at his mum as she grabbed him in the usual reunion bear hug. The crushing welcome continued for some time as Glad kept kissing his cheeks while squeezing the air out of him.
Perce meanwhile had politely removed his hat and with an emphatic, ‘G’day, darls, wonderful to see youz again. Welcome to Austrarlia,’ he kissed Sew Moi’s cheeks in welcome.
Siew Moi was probably the only Singaporean never to have been to Australia so it was an excited young lady who stood amidst the family group.
Oona, Kate and Kevin excitedly joined the welcome and having checked that the baggage was all there the chattering party headed out of the Terminal into the warm summer night.
Glad nattered non-stop, as usual, while others in the Welcoming Committee did a creditable job of keeping up with her. Simon smiled and nodded, leaving his mum to release pent-up excitement, while Siew Moi tried to keep up with the questions as best she could.
‘Had a nice flight?’ ‘Get any prezzies from the crew?’ ‘Served special Singapore wine, did they?’ ‘Meet anyone nice?’ ‘Been air sick over lots o’ people, ‘ave yewz?’ She had a way about her, did Glad.
As the group wandered along Simon noticed the tag on the back of Kevin’s coolie hat – ‘Tran Van Chip Phan, South Fremantle. Snapper & Chips - $5.50. Salt & Vinegar - Free. Any bread luv? ’ - making a mental note to check the place out.
Glad noticed his hat inspection as they crossed the car park and turned to Simon, ‘Thought the hats would be appropriate, yer know. Make Sue feel at home an’ all that kind o’ thing.’ She winked conspiratorially, pursing her lips and nodding in support of the comment. Having certain trouble with Chinese names the family had quickly renamed Siew Moi, Sue…not a problem. Darls…
Simon reckoned Siew Moi had probably never even seen a coolie hat, let alone worn one. Still, there was a first time for everything so he reached out, removed Kevin’s hat and plonked it on her head.
‘Simon, stop it. They’ll deport me if they see me in this,’ she flapped him and the hat away.
‘No one’s going to export you, ‘cos I won’t let them, darls! It suits you, anyway. Very nice too…’ Glad settled any concerns.
Perce had the People Mover at their house on the outskirts of Fremantle in half an hour and asked Kevin to bring in the luggage as the excited Glad led the way into the humble home. The request produced a groan from the gangly teenager and a follow-up clap across an already-black-and-blue ear from a passing Glad.
‘Do as yer father asks, will yer?’ There were no more mutterings.
Simon helped his brother with the cases, hold-alls and other paraphernalia of which there seemed far too much for a ten-day visit. As the party shuffled their way past the fly-screen door, then the actual front door, and made their way down the hallway into the house Glad moved quickly into the far kitchen to put the kettle on. ‘Let’s have a nice welcoming cup o’ tea and some cake, eh?’ She grinned at her flock as each peeled off in their own direction.
‘Strewth mother, your first son comes home after nearly a year away and all you can offer him is a tea bag! Get the beers out Kevin, an’ the colder the better.’
Perce smacked his lips and grinned at the visitors settling down in the lounge as his second son appeared with three cans of almost-
freezing Swan beer. The boy waited for the response once he spotted the number of cans.
‘OK then. You can have one if you change that miserable look.’ The lad smiled and handed out the amber nectar.
Siew Moi wandered into the kitchen and told Glad she, for one, would love a cup of tea, which brought a satisfied smile from her hostess. She then carried a tray of cups and saucers into the lounge before settling onto the settee alongside Oona and Kate.
The main room of the house was quite sizeable, as they are in old detached solid brick homes, with a faded three-piece suite, non matching chairs, cluttered sideboard, a couple of mirrors here and there and a telly on the far wall.
Perce had his own television shop in nearby Fremantle and their set was a flat screen offering. It was, though, not too large as he had emphasised that he didn’t want the room ‘looking like weez at bloody Hoyts Cinema in Freo.’
Kate put on some background music as Kevin wandered off in search of more beer, the first round having vanished in record time. Thirsty work all this travelling.
‘I must say the bar service round here isn’t bad,’ Perce announced as he checked the temperature of his latest can and opened it with an appealing hiss. ‘Hear that sound, darls?’ He asked of Siew Moi who nodded as she picked a cream biscuit to go with her cup of tea. The visitor nodded. ‘That’s Aussie talk for ‘Welcome to Perth…’
‘So kind, many thanks…’
‘Dad’s hissed again…’
Kevin’s announcement generated another crack around the black and blue ear.
They all chatted for a good while before an alarm suddenly rang out. ‘What on earth was that?’ Asked a rather mellow Perce. ‘Don’t tell me it’s time to get up, mother, ’cos we ’aven’t been to bloody bed yet!’
Glad stood. ‘I set it Perce, coz if we don’t go to bed NOW we’ll be wiped out for the whole of tomorrow, an’ I don’t want that. You for one have got to work, and these young folk have things to do. Sue hasn’t seen anything of Austrarlia and I don’t want her too tired to
take it all in. So come on: bed everybody.’ The mistress of the house had spoken and dimmed the lights in warning that total darkness about to set in.
Complaining groans from the girls and second son ensued as Perce told Kevin to finish his beer and do as his mother instructed. Rather surprisingly, he did, as the grog had been making him sleepy anyway.
A certain amount of bedroom shuffling had taken place to accommodate the visitors. The moves had Siew Moi bunking in Simon’s old room; Simon was taking over Kevin’s room while the second son was in a foldaway bed out on the back verandah.
Siew Moi said she hoped she hadn’t caused too many changes to which Glad kissed her on the cheek and whispered, ‘Not a problem, now get to bed, darls. An’ we’ll see yewz all in the morning…or in a few hours…whichever comes first, eh?’
It was after ten before all seven residents were in evidence. The summer sun was high in a clear blue sky and Glad and the girls were busy making brunch in the bright kitchen. Perce passed out chilled guava juice and offered Siew Moi a tour of the property as the Singaporean took her first look at Australia in daylight.
The front of the bull-nosed redbrick house stood out brightly against a crazy paving path edged with summer flowers while the lawn looked welcoming to bare feet. Weathered wooden fences outlined the area as a couple of tall gum trees offered certain shade. Around the back stood Perce’s pride and joy - the pigeon coop. Located at the far end of the long garden, his four homing pigeons were happily cooing away as the explorers arrived.
‘Meet John, Paul, George and Ringo,’ he beamed as the birds 10
busied themselves about the wooden hutch, each too busy to respond to the ‘Hello’ from Siew Moi. They totally ignored the visitors until food emerged from the cupboard below. Siew Moi was quite taken with the lively quartet and happily fed the four suitably named singers, who gurgled more than sang in response though.
‘Now howz about a noice Aussie brunch on your first day in God’s Own Country, Sue?’ Perce suggested as they strolled back to the rear verandah. ‘Are you OK with steak and chips?’
‘For breakfast?’
‘It’s actually more of a breakfast-cum-lunch. If you’d rather have something more Asian though, like kippers, just say so.’
She looked puzzled.
‘It’s fine with us, we have them too, ya know.’ He opened the verandah screen door and grinned contentedly as the duo crossed Kevin’s temporary abode and entered the kitchen. Things were extra busy as the couple moved to take their seats around the plastic
topped table. Oona passed Siew Moi a cup of tea as she settled next to Simon wondering why Perce thought kippers were an Asian dish.
The Singaporean girl expected a few surprises during the visit and here came the first. She mentioned the offer to Simon, pointing out she’d never tasted them anyway.
‘Singaporeans mostly have porridge, eggs or rice for breakfast,’ Simon told his parents. Looking at Siew Moi he added, ‘But…maybe for a change…a kipper or four, with their heads on of course, would appeal?’
‘I’m fine with a nice juicy steak, Mrs Skeer,’ she grinned at Glad. ‘Whatever you eat, I will.’
‘And some snaggers?’ Glad was poised over the spitting frying pan. ‘What’s a snagger?’
‘A sausage,’ Kate revealed, to which their guest nodded her thanks.
‘Did you sit in Perce’s percolator down the garden, darls?’ Glad was bubbling.
‘Percolator?’
‘Built it with his very own hands, every piece of wood and all them seats insoide. Such a creative possum, when he wants to be, is Perce. Looks lovely, if yewz ask me. I love sitting in there in a hot afternoon with a good book an’ a flagon of wine.’
‘She means the pergola, dad built it.’ Simon quietly clarified, unscrambling Glad’s linguistic misnomers, while the lady herself scrambled fresh eggs.
‘Oh, right. Yes, very nice, and I love the vines growing all over the structure. You’ll be bottling your own wine soon.’
Perce called for a fresh pot of tea while Kevin complained about his hangover.
‘Quiet, boy!’ Perce instructed, ‘You get a bloody hangover from a packet of wine-gums, you little wimp. Just stop being a Nelly Queen and shut up. Now go and feed the chucks, wud yer?’
‘Chucks?’ Siew Moi whispered to Simon.
‘Chickens, darls,’ radar-ears Perce revealed as Kevin stayed put, not wishing to return to cold food. ‘Weez get fresh eggs daily. You only met a few of our feathered friends just now, there’s a chicken run in the other corner. ‘I’ll introduce you to the occupants later and you can tell them what you think of their produce.’ He was a happy chappie this morning, surrounded by his chattering flock – inside and out.
As it was the final Saturday before Christmas the shop would be busy so once the feast ended Perce headed off to work. His staff had opened up at 8am to catch the early morning crowd and the boss man would appear mid-morning to help. Perce took the MPV as it was used for deliveries and departed with a quick, ‘Cheerio, an’ I’ll see yewz all later then. Hooroo.’
Vehicle-wise his departure left a small runabout sitting in the drive. Glad was its usual driver but the car had been designated for Simon and Siew Moi’s use. Until they headed north the following weekend, that was, as Perce had arranged a jeep suitable for Outback driving from a local ‘Rent-A-Bomb’ car centre. All of which should suit their long distance needs perfectly.
Simon and Siew Moi finished their delights, said hello to the chickens, showered and set off on their Explore Local Oz tour just before noon.
‘Dinner’s at seven, darls,’ Glad shouted as they drove off with a wave.
Simon took to his tour guide role quite well as they firstly did the ‘City, Sights and Sounds’ of Fremantle. After tea in a quaint restaurant on a hill overlooking the port they headed along the coast road towards the state capital, Perth.
The weather was glorious. Though hot, there was no humidity, which made it noticeably different from Singapore, where it was almost always sticky. Siew Moi loved the look of the beaches and gushed about them.
‘Then we’ll go to Cottesloe Beach tomorrow and see how you like the surf up close.’ The plan was to take it easy during the week running up to Christmas Day, the coming Friday, so a day at the beach would provide a nice chance to relax.
Mid-afternoon found them in Kings Park overlooking downtown Perth and the Swan River. Siew Moi looked at the wide watery expanse with wonder. It all looked so peaceful as angled yachts sketched foamy white lines across placid blue water.
‘Gosh, it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen so much space.’ ‘Nice, eh?’
‘It certainly is. I never imagined the river was so wide as well as clear and clean and…like everything here…it’s all so empty.’
‘Seeing is believing,’ the young Aussie confirmed while steering her towards an ice-cream van parked under towering palm trees just inside the park’s entrance. They walked across freshly cut grass, which smelt wonderful, and Siew Moi took her sandals off to get a better feel of things after noticing everyone else was travelling barefooted.
They returned home around half past six and after quickly freshening up joined Glad and Perce on the front porch, sundowners in hand. The VIP visitor wore the bushman’s hat given by Kevin when the family was in Singapore.
‘Cheers,’ the younger couple saluted their hosts. ‘Cheers, darls,’ the parents echoed, raising their drinks. Father and son guzzled ice-cold Emu Bitter while Glad and Siew Moi sipped Singapore Sling cocktails.
‘How I love this Sling, we tried one in the Rattles Hotel, yew know. Very noice but not cheap…so we just had the one and left…’
She was such a world traveler, was Glad.
Perce had arrived home not much before the tourists after what he claimed had been the Busiest Saturday of the Year. ‘Satisfying, bloody satisfying, though oime roite knackered, mother,’ was all he would say. Which usually meant record sales. No wonder he was in the mood for a few festive drinks.
As they settled back into comfy rattan chairs, upholstered in wattle patterned kookaburra cushions, a gentle breeze blew across the lawn. Occasionally it sent a fine spray their way from the spitting sprinkler.
‘The Fremantle Doctor isn’t doing much today,’ Perce remarked between foamy delight.
‘Nah, dead roite he isn’t,’ Glad agreed as she took on a tropical glow.
‘Weak as water if you ask me,’ The father figure diagnosed. Supporting nods came from Simon and the pink Glad.
Siew Moi wondered what had brought on the medical thoughts and turned to Simon as she placed her Sling on the low glass table.
‘How does your father know there’s a doctor in Fremantle who isn’t busy, and how do you and your mum know he’s weak?’ She was confused. ‘Does he have x-ray eyes into some surgery down the road, or what?’
His parents heard the questions and both they and Simon started laughing, so much so that Glad had to hold the low porch wall to keep her from falling off her rocking chair.
The visitor was more confused than amused. Turning to Simon with some exasperation widening eyes demanded answers.
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