Piece of My Heart

Book 4: Fostering Love

by Nicole Jacquelyn

Genres: Women's Fiction; Contemporary Romance; Family Life

Synopsis

From the author of Unbreak My Heart comes a heart-wrenching story about a young married couple's struggle to find their way back to each other after an unbearable loss threatens to tear them apart. Nicole Jacquelyn delivers a novel that will break your heart...in all the best ways.

Alex Evans is cool. Collected. Charismatic as hell. But when he meets Sarai Levy, all that chill goes right out the door. An Israeli graduate student, Sarai's far too busy with school to date. But she gives Alex a chance anyway, and after a few whirlwind months, they're getting married. They've heard all the reasons why it's too soon, but Alex and Sarai are madly in love and determined to make it work . . . until a devastating tragedy strikes and their perfect world comes crashing down.

Sarai, who always has a plan, suddenly has no blueprint for handling a staggering loss. As she pulls away from Alex and withdraws from her life, he's struggling to be the man she needs. Their relationship is fraying at the seams, and if Alex and Sarai don't find a way to trust each other with their most painful truths, their heartache could shatter their fairytale romance.

Release date: July 23, 2019

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

Print pages: 368

Sample

Chapter 1

On the day I met the love of my life, I slept through my alarm, spilled coffee down the front of my uniform, forgot to bring running shoes, and had to run five miles in my boots, all before noon. By the end of the day, I was spent. All I wanted to do was go home and watch TV in my skivvies with a six-pack of beer in arm’s reach.

Just as I climbed into my truck, I remembered that I had agreed to be the wingman for my coworker Sean’s double date. I didn’t know the guy well, but since we’d be working together and potentially deploying together, I hadn’t felt like I could blow him off when he’d asked. Most of the other guys in our platoon were in serious relationships and couldn’t help him out when he’d gone around begging for the favor. I brought up Sean’s contact information in my phone and called him as I pulled out of the parking lot.

“Haven’t you been on a date with this chick before?” I asked as soon as Sean answered his phone.

“Hello, Alex,” he laughed. “Long time no see.”

“I didn’t catch you before you left the building,” I replied. “Haven’t you guys hung out already? Why am I going to this thing?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t wait, so we met up on Wednesday for drinks. I guess she’d already made plans with her friend for tonight, though, and she didn’t want to cancel.”

I opened my mouth to back out of the whole thing when Sean spoke again.

“You gotta come. This girl, she’s so hot,” he said. I could practically hear him smile through the phone.

“And you haven’t sealed the deal yet.”

“I never kiss and tell,” he lied. “But no. I like her and she’s not the type. Wants to hang out for a while first.”

“Hang out or date?” I asked, switching the phone to Bluetooth so I could drive. “Because there’s a difference.”

“There is?” he asked.

“You’re kidding, right?” I flipped on my blinker and headed toward the front gate of the fort. Living in town instead of on base had a lot of advantages, but the biggest disadvantage was that it took me twenty minutes to get home every day. I knew it could be worse, but I hated spending any time driving around. We had only a certain number of minutes on Earth, and I didn’t want to waste them.

“Yeah, man, I’m kidding,” Sean said. “We’re dating. I’m taking her out, not inviting her over for China Buffet takeout and zombie killing on the Xbox.”

“Killing zombies sounds like the perfect date to me, but it probably wouldn’t go over well with most women.”

“Meet us at six, all right?” Sean said, ignoring my comment. “And shower, yeah? You smelled like ass today.”

“I forgot fucking deodorant,” I replied. It was one of the hazards of sleeping through my alarm.

“Right,” he said. “Shower. Six o’clock at the sushi and steak place.” He hung up before I could reply.

“Shit,” I muttered, dropping my head back against the headrest. It looked like I was going out tonight after all.

By the time I got home it was closing in on five thirty. I stripped as I walked toward my bathroom, but carried the discarded clothes with me to the hamper and tossed them in. I’d realized not long after I’d moved out of my parents’ house that if I didn’t clean up my crap, I’d be living in a shithole.

After a quick shower and shave, I slapped on some deodorant and dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt. The place I was meeting Sean and the ladies wasn’t fancy. A T-shirt would have worked fine, but I rarely had the chance to dress nice, and women liked when you put in some effort. I laughed as I glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked presentable. My twin brother, Abraham, would have given me so much grief if he’d known I’d put in this much effort for a blind date.

Even before he’d hooked up with our foster sister, Ani—yeah, that happened—he’d rarely made much of an effort to date, and he would never in a million years go out with a woman sight unseen. Abraham and I were opposites in almost every way, and if he knew just how many blind dates I’d gone on in the past few years, he’d shit his pants. Bram would rather have a root canal then spend the evening making small talk with a stranger.

By the time I pulled up in front of the steak house and parked my truck, exhaustion was hitting me hard. It had been a long week, and for the first time in a long time, I dreaded making nice with someone I didn’t know. Usually I was up for anything, but damn, I was tired.

I forced myself toward the entrance of the restaurant and pulled open the front door, smiling politely when I caught sight of Sean and his date waiting for their table.

“Hey, Alex,” Sean called in greeting, even though we’d already made eye contact and he’d wiggled his eyebrows. “This is Hailey.”

“Hi, Hailey.” I smiled wide, making Sean’s expression flatten as he stepped a little closer to her. “Nice to meet you.”

I always did that—grinned real big and stared directly into the eyes of my friend’s date. You could tell a lot about a person during a first impression, and I always knew from that initial look if a woman was into my friend.

I was good-looking and I knew it. Tan skin, even white teeth, and eyelashes that annoyingly flicked against the lenses of my sunglasses. As far as I was concerned, it was a freak of genetics that didn’t really matter, but I still used it to my advantage when I could. I wasn’t stupid. Currently I was using those freak genetics to charm my friend’s girl.

When Hailey tilted her head toward Sean just slightly, I relaxed a little. When she laughed at his reaction I relaxed more.

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” she said, grinning. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course,” I said, like I hadn’t been thinking about a reason to bail for the last hour. I looked around the area we were standing in but didn’t see her friend. “Am I making this a third-wheel situation?”

“No.” Hailey shook her head and grimaced a little.

“Her friend’s running late,” Sean said, just as the hostess called his name. “She said she’ll be here as soon as she can, though.”

I nodded and shrugged. The place smelled damn good as we made our way through the tables, and my stomach growled, reminding me that I’d missed lunch. I eyeballed the sushi being prepared, and my mouth watered.

It wasn’t until we’d sat down and ordered drinks that I realized we’d have to wait for Hailey’s friend to get there before we could order. The good mood I’d been enjoying vanished, but I kept a polite expression on my face. I chatted with Sean about work and told Hailey some mildly embarrassing stories, but I couldn’t help but keep glancing at my watch. Jesus, I was starving. Fifteen minutes passed, then thirty, and as we got close to the hour mark, even the waitress started getting a little annoyed.

Finally, about fifty minutes after we’d sat down, a petite woman with long brown hair dropped into the chair next to me.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said breathlessly. “There was an armadillo in the road, and I couldn’t just leave it.”

My interest was piqued at the sound of her husky voice, but it solidified when the woman turned toward me and I saw her face. Dark-brown eyes, a mole on her cheekbone, a sharp nose, full lips. There was a gap between her two front teeth when she gave me a small smile.

Holy fuck.

“I’m Sarai,” she said, lifting her hand politely for me to shake.

I froze like a twelve-year-old who had just gotten caught staring at the pretty lifeguard at the neighborhood pool.

“This is Alex,” Sean said, laughter in his voice.

“I’m Alex,” I mimicked, shaking her hand and then letting go as if it were on fire. Oh, that was real smooth. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” she said politely.

She turned back to the table, and I immediately wanted to poke her or pull her hair or make a joke. Anything to get her to turn those big brown eyes my way. The only problem was that my tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of my mouth.

I wasn’t that guy. I didn’t see a pretty face and clam up. I didn’t stumble over my words or make an ass of myself. I was cool. Collected. Charming as fuck. Women loved me.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hailey said with a wave of her hand.

“How’s the armadillo?” I asked at the same time.

“It’s dead,” Sarai replied.

I almost laughed. She’d said it so matter-of-factly, like I should have known the answer before I’d ever asked the question.

“And you still stopped?” I said, my lips twitching.

“Well, someone has to call it in,” she said with a shrug. “You can’t just leave dead animals on the road.”

“Right,” I replied.

“So I stopped and dragged it off the road and waited for someone to come get it.”

I glanced at her hands.

“Don’t worry—I washed them,” she said. Smiling, she lifted her hands from the table and wiggled her fingers.

“Would you like something to drink?” the waitress asked just as Sarai’s hands rested on the table again. I hadn’t even noticed the woman walk up.

“Just water, please,” Sarai answered. The waitress scowled.

“She’s pissed because you were so late and now you’re ordering a free drink,” I said to Sarai as I met the waitress’s eyes. I had meant it as a joke, but when I looked back at my date, her eyes were wide in disbelief and I realized how the words sounded.

Sean gave me a what the fuck scowl, and I grimaced, shrugging my shoulders before looking away. I was completely botching what should have been an enjoyable dinner. To be fair, I wasn’t the only person at fault. I hadn’t been the one who’d shown up late.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, running a hand down my face. “I didn’t mean that toward you. I mean, you were late, but I wasn’t trying to call you out.”

“You just keep talking,” Sarai said, her lips tipping up in a small smile. “But you’re not making it any better.”

“I’ll shut up,” I replied immediately. Then, like a complete jackass, I lifted my fingers and mimicked zipping my mouth closed.

Sarai laughed and looked back across the table at Hailey, dismissing me. I closed my eyes for a moment in disbelief.

I needed to turn this shit around. I waited for my moment, quietly observing the two women as they talked about their classes and professors.

“What’s your major?” I asked Sarai quietly as Sean finally captured Hailey’s attention again.

“I’m getting my MBA,” she replied. “I graduate in the spring.” She grinned and did this little celebration motion with her hands. I relaxed a little. If I could just keep her talking, maybe I could salvage her opinion of me. If nothing else, at least she’d think I was a good listener.

“Damn,” I said. “That’s a lot of school.”

“Well, I took a couple of years off after high school,” she replied. “So it hasn’t seemed too bad.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It turns out,” she said softly, leaning toward me as if she were telling me a secret, “college is expensive.”

I chuckled and she grinned.

“No kidding,” I replied. “I was never very good at the whole school thing.”

“Why is that?”

“Class clown,” I said, pointing to myself. “I was too busy making sure everyone else wasn’t paying attention to learn anything.”

“Ah,” she said knowingly.

“It’s a curse.” I shrugged.

“I’m guessing the Army beat that out of you,” she said, turning toward me a little.

“The drill sergeants didn’t find me amusing,” I replied drily.

“I bet.” She laughed.

Hailey said something, pulling Sarai’s attention back across the table. Damn, just when we were getting somewhere.

We ordered our meals, and thankfully I didn’t embarrass myself again. There was something about the woman sitting next to me that made me all nervous and twitchy. I wanted so badly to make a good impression that I psyched myself out.

I watched her while we ate, trying not to seem creepy. I couldn’t help myself. Everything she did, every move she made, seemed…dainty. I’d never used that word before in my life, but it fit. Her table manners were impeccable; meanwhile, my sushi rolls were falling from my chopsticks with alarming regularity.

“Do you need help with that?” she finally asked as I tried and failed to get a roll into my mouth.

“No,” I mumbled, putting a hand in front of my mouth to hide the food hanging out of it. “No, thank you.”

“I have just the trick,” she said, lifting one finger in the air.

I sheepishly put my chopsticks in her hand when she gestured for them. I watched in fascination as she folded the wrapper from her straw and set it between the chopsticks, then wrapped a tiny rubber band from inside her purse around the whole thing.

“See?” she said, squeezing the chopsticks on one end so they opened and closed at the other end. “Magic.”

“Did you just put training wheels on my chopsticks?” I asked in disbelief.

Sarai’s eyes widened innocently as she pressed her lips together. “Yes?”

“I think I love you,” I replied, wiggling my fingers. “Let me try them.”

The woman was a genius.

“Better?” she asked, watching as I easily grabbed a roll.

“Jesus, Evans,” Sean said, scoffing. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

“I’m taking these home with me,” I replied, opening and closing them a few times.

Ground rules for wingmen in our circle meant that I was getting a free dinner. Since Sean was the one trying to impress his date, it was his responsibility to pay. I’d given up beer and video games to help him out; it was the least he could do.

Unfortunately, Sean seemed to have missed that memo and didn’t reach for the check when the waitress set it on the end of our table after we’d finished eating. I gritted my teeth as I watched him smile widely at something Hailey said. I glanced down at the check and then back at him as Sarai grabbed her purse and started rifling through it. Sean still didn’t pick the damn thing up. Finally, just as Sarai found her wallet and pulled it out of her purse, I reached past her and snatched the bill up.

“I’ve got it,” I said quietly, putting my hand on top of hers for just a second. I reached for my wallet at the same time she tried to argue.

“No way,” she replied. “You don’t need to pay for mine.”

The couple across the table completely ignored our interaction.

“I know I don’t have to,” I said to Sarai as I caught the waitress’s eye. I pulled out some bills and handed them to the waitress when she walked over to us. “Keep the change.” I’d given her a fat tip. It was the least I could do after spending so long at her table during one of their busiest nights of the week.

“Really,” Sarai said, pulling some cash from her wallet. “How much do I owe you?”

Sean and Hailey were still talking to each other like they had no idea that I’d just paid for their goddamn dinner. No one was that oblivious. I was pissed, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to make Sarai pay for her own meal. I’d had a good time, and I’d probably be thanking Sean later for setting this double date up, but it was the principle of the thing. The bill was his responsibility.

“Nothing,” I said to Sarai, shaking my head. “Seriously, this one’s on me.”

“It’s not like this was a real date,” she said softly, her lips tipping up at the edges.

“Doesn’t matter,” I replied, standing up from my seat. I pulled her chair out as she finally put away her wallet and stood up, too.

“You guys leaving?” Hailey asked, suddenly out of the Sean-fog she’d seemed to be lost in.

“I still need to get the check,” Sean said jovially. The prick.

“Alex already got it,” Sarai said drily. “I’ll see you Wednesday in class, Hailey?”

“I’ll be there,” Hailey said. She made no move to get up, so I guessed that was our cue to leave without them.

I followed Sarai out of the restaurant, still completely annoyed. That dipshit was going to pay me back. It wasn’t as if I was hurting for money, but I definitely hadn’t budgeted for paying for four expensive dinners this week.

“It was nice meeting you,” Sarai said as we stepped out into the cold night. She was holding her sweater tightly around her.

“You too,” I said, smiling. The night had been complete shit from beginning to end, but now that we were ready to leave, I was kind of disappointed. “Where’d you park?”

“Right over there.” She nodded to her left.

“I’ll walk you.”

She opened her mouth to reply, then tilted her head and snapped her mouth shut again.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t have been able to talk me out of it,” I said jokingly. She rolled her eyes, and I knew that I’d guessed her unsaid words correctly. “My dad would kill me if he knew I let a woman walk alone in the dark to her car.”

“Yeah, but how would he know?” she asked, pulling her keys out of her purse as we walked.

“I’m a terrible liar,” I replied.

“Do you think he’ll ask if you’ve let any women walk to their cars alone lately?”

“It’s possible,” I joked, nodding my head. “But even if he didn’t”—I sighed—“the minute he answered the phone, I’d probably blurt out the truth. Guilty conscience, you know?”

“It must have sucked to be your friend when you were a kid,” she said, chuckling.

“It did,” I replied in mock seriousness. We’d arrived at her car, and I searched for a way to buy myself some time. I hadn’t wanted to come, but now that the date was over, I didn’t want to leave.

“Well, thanks for the escort,” she said, smiling politely.

“You want to get dinner sometime?” I asked, grinning down at her.

“I’m really busy,” she hedged.

“I could work around your schedule—”

Before I could say anything else, she shook her head.

“Thank you, but no.” She unlocked her car door.

“Really?” I said, unable to hide the surprise in my voice.

She looked at me and snorted. “Yes. Really.”

“Uh, okay.” I stepped back, completely unsure of myself now.

Opening her car door, she turned to look back at me. “I’m focusing on school right now, but thank you for the invitation. Besides, I don’t date men prettier than me,” she said with a teasing smile.

After that parting shot, she climbed into her car and drove away, leaving me standing there on the pavement, a dazed look on my face. As I watched her taillights disappear, I started to laugh.

I was still laughing while I walked to my truck and climbed inside. Jesus. Getting completely shot down because I was too pretty was a fitting end to the hellish day I’d had. I mean, with the way the entire day had gone down, had I really expected that it would end any differently?

My phone rang as soon as I’d stepped through my front door, and I groaned when my brother’s name flashed on the screen.

“Abraham,” I answered.

“It’s Ani,” my foster sister, sister-in-law, and best friend whispered.

“Why are you calling from Bram’s phone?” I whispered back, grinning.

“Because my phone is in the bedroom with my sweet little demon, who is currently asleep for the first time in twenty-four hours,” she replied, still whispering.

“Damn, woman. Go get some sleep!”

“I am,” she hissed. “I was just calling you to make sure you didn’t call me.”

“I wasn’t planning on calling you.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

“You need some sleep,” I said, dropping onto my couch with a sigh. “You’re acting crazy.”

“Do you think Bram would find me if I slept in the bathtub?” she asked seriously. “I could put some towels in there, and—”

“Yes, he would notice. You have his phone,” I replied with a laugh. “Go get in bed.”

“If he asks for sex, he’s coming to live with you.”

“That’s a little extreme,” I said. “Make him live with the parents.”

“He’d be too close,” she said, groaning. “If I had to see his face, I’d kill him.”

“He’s probably already asleep,” I assured her, trying and failing to take her seriously. “Just go get in bed and get some rest while you can.”

“Fine.” She hung up without saying good-bye, and I grinned as I dropped my phone on the couch beside me.

Ani was one of the best people I’d ever known. She’d also been right. I would have called her once I’d had a few beers. I wanted to bitch about Sean not paying for dinner, and I still couldn’t get over the way Sarai had shot me down so easily, and I wanted to tell Ani about it. She’d laugh her ass off.

I knew that I wasn’t God’s gift to women or anything like that, but I did pretty well with the fairer sex. I’d never in my life been told no flat out when I’d asked a woman to have dinner with me. I’d heard excuses and had women give me the brush-off, sure, but never gotten a plain “No.” If I was being honest, that had burned a little.

I stripped down to my boxers and grabbed a six-pack from the fridge before settling back down on the couch again. Since I didn’t have anything going on the next day, I was going to drink every single one of those beers and burn off some frustration by killing some video game zombies.

Before I turned on the TV, I flipped through my text messages until I found one from Sean and replied to it, You owe me for dinner, fuckface.

Chapter 2

School was going to kill me. I’d been working all day on a paper, and I finally had the rough draft written, but I still had to outline the next paper before I could go to sleep. Neither of them was due until Monday, but I had plans tomorrow that I really couldn’t cancel. I rubbed at my forehead, where a headache was forming.

“I know, Auntie,” I muttered, staring at her through the computer screen. She was complaining again about the distance between us. She didn’t understand why I’d gone all the way to Missouri for school when there were plenty of good schools in New York. Why couldn’t I live at home and go to school? Was I trying to get away from her? How was she supposed to check on me? I was twenty-six—wasn’t it time for me to settle down and give her some babies to hold?

It drove me crazy, but I also kind of loved that she forced me to Skype her at least once a week to make sure that my cheeks hadn’t thinned out. I hadn’t been back home in over a year, because the tickets were so expensive and I couldn’t afford to take any time off from the accounting office where I worked. I missed New York, though, and my aunt and uncle’s little apartment. I missed the smells and the sounds and the food and the family that was always around when I needed them.

I’d grown up in Missouri, and it wasn’t until my parents died in a car accident when I was fourteen that I moved to New York to live with my uncle and aunt. I’d expected the old familiar landmarks to feel like home when I came back to Missouri, but they hadn’t.

When I decided to return to Missouri for school, I’d been so confident. I’d rolled my eyes when family and friends had told me how homesick I’d feel. After all, I’d grown up in Missouri. It was as familiar to me as New York was. Sure, I’d miss the people I’d left in New York, but it was an adventure. I’d settle easily into my old hometown.

How wrong I’d been. I hated thinking of those first two years at school. The isolation I’d felt. The homesickness. It had only been pure stubbornness that had kept me there. Sheer force of will. Everything was so spread out. I had to drive if I wanted to go anywhere, and walking to the corner store was a thing of the past. Neighbors didn’t stop me to say hello and ask how my studies were going. No one cared what I was doing or where I was going. The very things I’d looked forward to when planning to move so far away were the things that depressed me.

Eventually, I’d grown comfortable again, but I still missed home, especially on days when my aunt was being nosy, and I could hear my uncle in the background telling her how I’d never call again if she kept asking me questions.

“I’m going to a party,” I told her when she grilled me about my plans for that weekend.

“What kind of party?”

“Housewarming. My friend is moving in with her boyfriend.”

My aunt made a noise in her throat. “Stupid. Moving in with a guy before marriage is a bad idea. You try to do that, I’ll come drag you home by your hair.”

She was dramatic, but I had a feeling her words weren’t far from the truth. If she found out that Hailey and Sean had been dating for less than a month, she’d have even more to say, and I wouldn’t even be. . .