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Synopsis
A reviled supermarket CEO meets his expiration date
The executive who's responsible for widely hated changes at the biggest grocery store in Haines Tavern, Kentucky, arrives for a tour … and doesn't leave alive. Sheila and Clara are on the scene -- buying dog treats, of course – and on the case. Can they pick out the ingredients for the right solution?
This whodunit with humor is the fourth book in USA Today bestselling author Patricia McLinn's cozy mystery series, Secret Sleuth, which begins with a murder on a transatlantic cruise in Death on the Diversion. In Death on Torrid Avenue and later books, accidental investigator Sheila Mackey returns to dry land in the Midwest, where mysteries abound in her new home in small-town Kentucky.
Secret Sleuth series
Death on the Diversion
Death on Torrid Avenue
Death on Beguiling Way
Death on Covert Circle
Death on Shady Bridge
Death on Carrion Lane
Death on ZigZag Trail
Death on the Diversion "is such an enjoyable story, reminiscent of Agatha Christie's style, with a good study of human nature and plenty of humor. Great start to a new series!" – 5-star review
Death on Torrid Avenue "is told with a lot of humor and the characters are good company. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and am looking forward to the next story." – 5-star review
More mystery from Patricia McLinn
Caught Dead in Wyoming series
Sign Off
Left Hanging
Shoot First
Last Ditch
Look Live
Back Story
Cold Open
Hot Roll
Reaction Shot
Body Brace
Cross Talk
The Innocence Trilogy
Ride the River: Rodeo Knights
Bardville, Wyoming series
Release date: February 1, 2020
Publisher: Craig Place Books
Print pages: 250
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Death on Covert Circle
Patricia McLinn
MONDAY
CHAPTER ONE
Orange juice.
That’s what entangled my friend, Clara Woodrow, and me in a murder.
Not a lot of people can say that.
Clara apologized again for our detour to the Jolly Roger grocery store, even though I’d agreed to it. “Ned’s so easygoing about most things and he does love his orange juice. He’s coming in really late tonight from his business trip, then he has meetings starting early tomorrow morning, poor baby. This way he’ll have his orange juice before he goes.”
Pre-detour, we’d been headed to my house from a meeting at the Torrid Avenue Dog Park.
I’d approved stopping at the Roger, as the store was commonly called, despite it eating into time I’d mentally assigned to writing, as I tried to write my first novel, something no one else in Haines Tavern knew about.
Something no one else anywhere knew about.
This was not the first time I’d let my assigned writing time be overrun by other activities, though it was the first time orange juice was the culprit.
“I read a wonderful book on oranges once that said orange juice for breakfast is widely considered an American habit, though, in fact, people in other countries drink it for breakfast. And sometimes all the rest of the day. They also do things like clean floors with oranges,” I said. “Half an orange in each hand, down on their knees, scrubbing.”
I had time to expand on my memories of the book Oranges by John McPhee, because the Roger was some distance down the rolling highway.
The Roger sat well back from the highway at a rising point in its endless up and down existence, tucked back on a solitary loop of a road called Covert Circle, which leads nowhere except the grocery store, a bank branch on one side of it, and a cut-rate (pun intended) hair place on the other.
It was as if the buildings were outcasts, pushed firmly beyond the invisible yet widely understood borders of Haines Tavern, Kentucky.
Heck, the townspeople allowed the dog park, with its attendant noise and smells, and the jail, ditto, to be built closer to the center of town than the Roger. That should tell you where it ranked in their estimation. They’d shop there for convenience, but they weren’t proud of it.
To hear the people of Haines Tavern talk, they exclusively patronized Shep’s Market, the generations-old store near the center of town. Yet I ran into a higher percentage of people I knew at the Roger than at Shep’s.
Still, if we’d been in town, I’d wager Clara would have opted for Shep’s Market. But Roger’s represented a far shorter detour than Shep’s to prevent Ned from being orange juice-less — and, thus, according to him, breakfastless — tomorrow morning.
If we’d been coming with the dogs from the park, I’d have stayed in Clara’s SUV, running the AC full blast, because it was far too warm for furred beings to stay in a sun-soaked vehicle. But we’d left our dogs at my house for this meeting with parks officials about adding an agility area.
Clara and I had been elected to represent users of the dog park in a close-run election.
In other words, Donna, the dog park’s czarina, said someone was needed to attend this meeting. No one volunteered. No one she approved of, anyway. She assigned us.
We’d report at the park this evening.
“A whole book on oranges?” Clara asked. “You have to give me the title of that one, too, Sheila.”
“The title’s simple — Oranges. But you don’t have to read every book I mention. No one will expect you to have read every book out there.”
Since she’d begun an online course to train as a virtual assistant for authors, Clara had been on a maniacal book binge, in addition to readings for the course and doing assignments.
“Not every book. But a lot more than I have. And you recommend such wonderful books. Not like what they made us read in school. So depressing. Turned me off reading for years. I still wouldn’t be reading if it weren’t for you and your great-aunt’s books.”
The topic of my Great-Aunt Kit, particularly the sub-topic of her books, tiptoed us right up to the edge of a precipice I did not want to go over. The landing would be on an unforgiving bed of sharp, protruding rocks known as secrets.
Kit’s secrets. My secrets. Our secrets.
“Gee, look. Don’t see that every day in Haines Tavern,” I said in a brilliant and subtle change of subject.
I was aided by there actually being something unusual to look at as we approached the Roger.
It was one of those SUV limousines. Not the super long ones like kids rent for prom, but the kind executives get driven around in so they don’t ever have to stop being important. It had an extra section between the front and back doors, plus a raised roof over the passenger compartment. As we got closer, I saw Range Rover branding.
It also had bright orange safety cones set around it, keeping all plebian vehicles well away from its glistening surfaces.
The likely cone-setter was a barrel-chested suit-wearing man slowly walking around the vehicle with a cloth in one hand, attending to the glisten.
As Clara’s path took us close to the limo, the man turned and glared at her dog-toting, Kentucky dust-wearing, not of this decade SUV, as if daring us to bring the vehicular mutt any closer to his pristine purebred.
I had an urge to grab a grocery cart, pass right between the cones, and ram the side of the limo-SUV.
Good thing I was still inside a moving vehicle. Made it much easier to withstand temptation.
Clara parked with an aplomb I would never achieve in an SUV, we got out, and without discussion met at the front bumper, which started us on a route toward the limo-SUV, rather than to the main doors.
“Who do you think it belongs to?” Clara whispered, tipping her head toward the vehicle that, in a pinch, could probably hold all the dogs from the dog park.
I suppressed a grin at the glisten-attender’s reaction to that scenario.
“No idea. Can’t see a celebrity popping into the Roger, even if they did find themselves in North Bend County. Were there any special events scheduled?”
She lifted a shoulder, then had to re-seat her purse strap, which had dropped off her shoulder. “I never pay attention to the stuff they do here.”
We’d need to adjust our path eventually or we’d run right into the vehicle, but rather than angling away, we kept straight on for now, but with a right-angle turn in our near futures.
The driver continued his circuit. He opened the farthest back door on the driver’s side, giving us a view inside. Not his intention, I suspected, but a bonus from our angle.
A desk was pushed way back from the leather chair-like back seat, probably to let its occupant exit. Computing devices and a screen sat on the desk. On the passenger side of the compartment, another desk with similar tools was set up in front of a somewhat more spartan rear-facing seat.
“Definitely not a celeb,” I murmured to Clara, as we made the right angle turn under the watchful eyes of the guy in the suit, who dusted already dust-free surfaces.
“No,” she agreed mournfully. “No glitter in sight. All work and no play. Plenty of comfort, though. They sure have more leg room than if they faced each other.”
“Could accomplish the same thing with two passengers sitting side by side. I bet this is to keep the hierarchy fully enforced, with the underling in the rear-facing seat.”
“Smart,” she said admiringly. “I mean you, not the rear seat limo person.”
We grinned at each other as we entered the store and encountered Petey.
It was more common to see him out in the parking lot, even when winter had been its coldest, than inside.
Petey operated as a cross between a cart wrangler and a Wal-Mart greeter.
He’d called me by name the first time I’d shopped at the Roger. I still don’t know how he’d known. He called everybody by name. And even the most curmudgeonly soon learned his name and used it in return.
I’d guess his age at north of seventy. He came up to my shoulder. He never failed to smile and say hello.
Except now.
A blonde woman wearing the store uniform with a pin on her black vest that read Hi, I’m Jacqueline Yancik, Assistant Store Manager, How Can I Help You? put her hand on his arm in a consoling gesture, then hurried after a knot of people congregated where register lines emptied out under a wall holding stiff photos of the store’s management team.
Petey turned toward us — or more likely the exit door — with his head down.
“Petey, what is all this? Who’s here?” Clara asked.
He looked up, produced a grimaced version of his usual smile. “CEO. Rod Birchall.
“CEO of the Jolly Roger chain? Here? Why?”
“Don’t know. Yelled at the guy with him. Yelled at me. Yelled at her.” His head-jerk indicated the departing assistant manager. “Probably yelling at somebody else now.”
As badly as this unpleasantness appeared to have put Petey off his stride, he still pulled a cart — a small one in response to Clara’s gesture — free from the line and presented it to her. But without a smile. And then he walked past us and out through the automatic door.
“Apparently the CEO of Jolly Roger came to Haines Tavern to yell at people,” I summarized. “Clara, let’s get the OJ and get out of here before he yells at us.”
She side-eyed me with a glimmer of mischief. “Don’t you want to hear what he’s yelling about first? See a big CEO up close and personal?”
I’d seen more than a few in the years I’d spent in Manhattan, being known to the world by a different name and as the author of a book that became a movie, won awards and set records in each medium. The catch being that I hadn’t actually written the book. My great-aunt had.
A fact very few people knew. Of those few people one lived in Haines Tavern. Me.
People here knew me as Sheila Mackey. With no literary identity attached.
For myself, I would have skipped getting a closer viewing of this CEO. Or any other CEO.
Too many of them reminded me of sea lions.
They’re smart and can be fun to watch from a distance. A long distance. Because up close you realize they’re noisy, have been known to snatch away small pets, and stink of putrid fish. Considering their diet, that’s not surprising — the sea lions’ diet, not the CEOs’.
But who was I to deny Clara the opportunity to experience a CEO? After all, everyone should go see sea lions in person. Once.
Besides, I might have an opportunity to ask if his was the brilliant mind behind associating a chain of grocery stores with piracy by naming them Jolly Roger. Way to make customers think they’re getting a good deal.
“Sure.”
Since Clara had already started wheeling the cart after the knot of people Petey had indicated and the assistant manager had joined, it was a foregone conclusion, but I voiced my agreement to make it official.
In addition to the assistant manager named Jacqueline, the knot included a woman I’d seen in passing at the dog park — she and her terrier mix often were leaving as I arrived with Gracie, my collie — but had never officially met.
Not only did I not know her name, I didn’t know her dog’s name, which made her next-best to a total stranger to me.
“Do you know her?” I asked Clara, indicating the woman by shifting my eyes.
“No. Shh.”
Also part of the knot were three store employees in red vests, seven people I took for customers, a gangly young man in a white dress shirt and slacks with one arm wrapped across his waist as if his stomach hurt and a phone in his other hand, and, finally, the obvious CEO.
Obvious not only because he was the focus of the group and because his pristine white shirt and suit pants had been tailored by masters you’ve never heard of because they would never be so gauche as to advertise, but because he had the thrust-out chest, lifted head, and minimalist chin of a sea lion.
Though that might have been a coincidence.
Also, he was the one talking.
“…making this the most convenient and best choice for all shoppers in…”
At the CEO’s pause, the gangly young man stepped forward, whispering.
The older man spoke loudly, as if that wiped out being fed his line by whisper. “…North Bent County. Since—”
“Bend, not Bent,” corrected a voice from my left.
“—I took over, we’ve improved by leaps and bounds in record time, but we won’t be satisfied with improvement. Our aim is perfect.”
A woman with white wings to her dark, upswept hair and glasses on the tip of her nose, which facilitated looking over them at him in disapproval, slid into a crack in his discourse.
“You are far from perfect. You have London broil on sale at this store.” Her clear, precise voice stirred memories of a high school English teacher.
“Glad you like your local Jolly Roger.” If his non-responsive answer hadn’t already given it away, his turned-away head as he scanned the aisle signs would have made it clear he wasn’t paying attention.
“I do not like Jolly Roger at all at the moment. You have not improved, but rather, regressed. The London broil that I desire is no longer available. The employees at the meat counter, who have previously supplied exactly what I desired, informed me they can no longer cut it to my specifications. They tell me that rules from corporate headquarters have been handed down limiting the varieties of meat that can be cut at the stores, hamstringing the butchers, as it were. Further, I have ascertained that you are the party responsible for this change and others equally unwelcomed.”
“Hamstringing butchers,” Clara repeated under her breath. “That’s good.”
Still not looking at the woman, the CEO glanced toward the store employees and his gangly assistant, who wasn’t as young as he’d first seemed. “This is the entrenched thinking we have to overcome, since we know meat production is far more profitable when we centralize it.”
Seemed to me he was faulting the woman for not being happy to sacrifice getting London broil the way she liked it as long as it improved the Jolly Roger’s bottom line … and, presumably, its CEO’s annual bonus.
Yeah, that’s what most consumers want first and foremost — to fatten stores’ and CEOs’ bottom lines.
“You’re not producing meat. You’re cutting it,” grumbled a man standing across the group from the teacher, a man in his early forties, dressed in worn jeans, sneakers, and a white shirt, with the sleeves rolled back on powerful forearms.
The CEO, named Rod Birchall according to Petey, paid no attention. Not to the man, not to the woman voicing the complaint. He seemed to think the matter was settled.
She didn’t, which was clear from her expression.
“Your profit relies on having customers, which you will not have with these changes,” the woman said.
“Plenty of pre-packaged meat available,” the assistant said with nervous heartiness.
As if he hadn’t spoken, Rod Birchall said, “All the cuts you could want are here. All of them. We offer more choices than ever before—”
“Not true.” Again, the woman’s support came from the man on the opposite side of the group.
His right hand was raised slightly. At first, I thought he’d formed a fist. But the position of his hand was more elongated. More like a tennis racquet grip? No, that wasn’t quite right, either. Yet there was something familiar…
The CEO interrupted my musing. “More choice than ever before and—”
“No. Prepackaging limits a purchaser’s choices.” Giving up on reading the man’s grip, I read his face. Not a satisfied customer. “A lot of times you’re selling mostly white meat.”
White meat? But the woman had talked about red meat — London broil. Not to mention, her complaint centered on whether meat could be cut to a customer’s specifications in the store, not white vs. red.
I might have been distracted by the non-sequitur, but the teacherish woman wasn’t. She took control again.
“Indeed, there is no choice at all, in effect, because your packages offer only meat that is far too thin. Pork chops you can be seen through — no wonder people say it’s dry. It is like trying to cook tissue paper. That is its flavor, as well. In addition, the supposed London broil in your packages, which could not be sliced to serve, because it would be like trying to slice a pancake.”
“Some people do like it thin and—” started Jacqueline, the assistant store manager.
Birchall talked over her, as CEOs tend to do. “Statistically, shoppers prefer thin.”
“None of those shoppers eat at my table, ...
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